I should have been named Nancy cuz boy am I negative.

So you would think by now that I would learn not to give up on studying and doing my work because every time I get that final grade back and it's not what I want it to be I get angry and blame myself because I should have worked harder. Yup, you would think I would learn to stay motivated because of the awful feelings I get as consequences but I don't. It's like when I go to Tequilas. I know later I'll regret eating all those chips and salsa but I stuff my face with it anyway...then I get a tummy ache later and can't fall asleep. Then I get angry when I gain 5 pounds because I ate all that and had no motivation to exercise and even the 5 pounds I gained is not enough motivation to get me moving...man.

You know what makes those feelings even worse? I always feel so confident in my abilities and feel comfortable with the material. Then I get that grade and it's like...nope sorry you fail. That's why I don't really see the point in being positive or confident. It hurts more to have your hopes up and have them crushed then to not hope at all. But the pain from the latter usually last longer, but the pain from the first hurts more.

Ok, I think I'm done being negative now and getting my feelings out.

Over break I only plan on eating GOOD food, no more D.C. please,  sleeping in a nice big bed, playing with my puppy,  reading books, and writing novels, spending time with my family and friends, and having a wonderful Christmas without worrying about school besides getting my books...

After you allow me to do that I promise I'll come back Professors and work my butt off in your classes.

Sincerely,
Liz

Why I Love My Fasha.

So, today, after watching Jane Eyre yesterday and reading Jillian Dare (a modern edit of Jane Eyre) I began to think about my father and how if it were not for him I would have never come to love this book so much so here is my dad's list of why I love him so much.

1. As stated above, he gave me my first ever classic and Jane Eyre book and since then I have fallen more and more in love with the novel.
2. He loves me and his family unconditionally.
3. He was the only man growing up, unlike many other people in his situation, he chose not to follow in his father's footsteps for that I will always be grateful.
4. He's so kind to his mother and aunt. It's so cute. :)
5. He is dedicated and works VERY hard to support his family.
6. He's helping me pay for college.
7. He and Mom brought me to Christ.
8. Along with that he baptized me and confirmed me.
9. And along with that he and Mom gave me my Concordia Self-Study Bible on confirmation and I am SO glad they did because it's been a HUGE help in my theology class.
10. He believes in me and my abilities.
11. He never missed a band concert or dance recital.
12. He is such a man. He puts others' comfort above his own and tries to be all tough.
13. He's so excited about being a grampy and he's going to be a great one. He's always sympathized with his children for never having a real grandfather.
14. When I'm the one who is supposed to make dinner when Mom's working he's always the one to do it because he doesn't like to wait for dinner. :)
15. When I was being harassed at school he said he would drive 2 hours to come and stay at my dorm room with a baseball bat. :)
16. He always gives me, my sister, and Mom presents. (I guess we know what his love language is). :)
17. He has very good taste in books.
18. He is a very talented musician. I wish I would have made him teach me how to play the violin and I could have been a famous musician. :)
19. He has the craziest weirdest funniest jokes and impressions. One time he tried to make fun of my band director and gave him an Aramaic accent.
20. For every mistake I've made and all the things I've done to hurt him he has offered me forgiveness (Just like my Heavenly Father). :)
21. Ha...if my mom would have let him, he would have done all my homework in school. :) He loves to learn.

In S.D. a few summers ago. :) Dad always wanted to see Mt. Rushmore and we did. :)

Puppy Love

So all this snow that we've been getting up here at school is really making me anxious for Christmas and to be with my family. The newest member to our family is Peter Frampton, our mutt puppy. I can't help but wonder how he  would be able to survive in the snow up here since he's so small. :) I also decided to write this because I should be studying and practicing my final speech, but I really don't want to. :)
It's been a while since my family and I have had a dog. Our last dog passed away in February of 2009.
Some people do not treat dogs very kindly or have a high opinion of them. They think that people treat them better than other people and that they do not deserve that much love or attention. I agree that some people do treat their pets better than their family or other people, but the more I think about it the more I think, "You can't really blame them."
Not only has research shown that a person is likely to live longer if they have a pet, but also that it is a better stress reliever for a person to seek the comfort of  their pet rather than a person. There's also something about the love that comes from a puppy that is different then the kind given from people. Dogs seem to have this sixth sense where they can tell when something is bothering you without you even having to tell them. Can't do that with people. And believe me, many women hope that men were smart enough to know what they're feeling without having to tell them. Dogs are great exercise buddies because they don't make you feel self-conscious. They don't judge you by your appearance and you can't really compare your body to theirs. :) Pets are also great for the older population because sometimes their pet may literally be all they have. Plus puppies are just so stinken cute and personally I find their little whimpers and whines to be less annoying then an infant's waling. No offense to babies because I love them too and I'm still excited about my niece/nephew arriving. Only about a month more to go!

The last thing I want to say that is so great about a puppy is that they won't ever betray you. They can't spread lies about you or tell others your secrets. People think sometimes that a parent will treat a pet better than a child which I know is true because I've been a witness to it. But I think the reason behind that is because puppies are a lot easier to train than people are. We are so complex. We ask questions and there always has to be a reason for something. Plus, with some things it just takes us longer to learn. Parents may also do this because they think they can get away with more. Kids will talk back and try to argue. Pets don't do that and if they do they get beat and the dog can't do anything about it. There's a lot more tolerance for animal abuse than child abuse. Though I can see how that may be reversed because it takes a lot for a child to get taken out of the home and many cases go unreported. But maybe that aggression that parents have for their children they take out on their pets and vice versa. I just want people to have respect for animals but to also have respect for people. I believe that animals do have feeling and a soul. Maybe not the same as humans but they do, because God created them too. He created them first. There just needs to be a nice balance between puppy love and human love.

Me and FramptonMiss Daisy May :)

I have a dream...

So...last week in my Exploring the Christian Faith class we were talking about spiritual disciplines. On one of the questions we were asked what our biggest dream was if we did not have to worry about failure. At first I put that I would love to be a performer. I love to dance and I love seeing plays and musicals. But then once I started hearing everybody else's ideas I remembered  the one that I had. One that my mom and I started a while ago when my grandpa passed away.

After my grandpa passed away as you can imagine my grandma became very depressed and lonely and we kind of started to worry about her. How long she had left. What was she going to do now that she lived alone if something happened to her. Then we got on the subject of what would happen when grandma left us. What would happen to the house and all the land she has. How would we spend our summer vacations if we didn't go visit grandma a few times. Of course, my grandma would split up the land between her four children. That would be the fairest option. When my sister and I were younger we would say how cool it would be to turn Grandma's place into a camp. When my grandpa died that idea kind of resurfaced but I didn't really give it much thought. Until last year when my mom was saying what she would really like to do is make a camp out of it. I kept trying to convince my mother that we should do it, but she was like "no no, we wouldn't have enough money to do that because Ron, Roger, and Becky wouldn't give up their share and grandma wouldn't put it in her will for us to make her house into a camp." My mom is very good at shattering dreams. :( I've been trying to think about this dream more. Putting a name and a picture to it. I've come up with the idea of creating a camp for children in crisis. I think it would be neat for schools to send at-risk kids to our facility for a week during the school year or even a  few days and we would give them exercises to build up self-esteem and self-confidence. We would work on effective communication and positive coping skills. They would also have time to get to know the other students and have fun playing games. Then I was thinking that along with all of that, why not get my other passions involved. Something we could use as exercises for positive communication and coping is doing everyday things that kids love: writing, drawing, dancing, painting, singing, acting, those fine arts that give so many people joy, but don't always have the resources or encouragement to do. After they spent a week there during the school year, we would invite them to come back over the summer for a longer, maybe more intense, visit.
I know it would be very easy to find another place to do this and that it doesn't have to be my grandma's and if I can find another place that would be great, but the real reason that I want to have it at my grandma's is to keep her spirit alive and because it's the perfect location. Her place is quiet, calm, and relaxing.
The name I have in mind for the camp is Camp Caring Hands because I think I want to focus more on kids who are deaf, kids that get bullied for stupid reasons like that.

I know I could do this, but I definitely can't do it alone.

Me and Shelby from handicamp

Me with Mom and Grandma, we're Foxy ladies!

(Grandma and Mom's last name is Fox) :)

College...

So...for those of you who don't know my story...I spent my freshman year at MacMurray College in Jacksonville, IL near Springfield. I decided to attend MacMurray because it was the only school in Illinois that made a sign language interpreting program. I wasn't really interested in leaving the state so after I found MacMurray I wasn't really interested in looking any further.
As soon as I got to MacMurray I knew something wasn't right. The school was not a Christian school so I was definitely outside my comfort zone. My year basically consisted of guys harassing me and my roommate. People getting drunk and being loud all the time making it hard to study and sleep. My friends would always leave me on the weekends so I spent them locked up in my dorm room. The college was doing VERY poorly and their staff was not a very qualified staff. Though that has some advantages too like easy classes :) The staff was not at all helpful when my roommate and I were being harassed. I didn't feel safe and I felt like I was being cheated out of a real college experience sometimes because the place was just boring and people were lame. So...I started feeling depressed and anxious. I went home every other weekend to be with my family and see a psychologist.
When I found Bethel...well, actually my mom found Bethel, I thought it was a godsend and that once I got there I would start to feel better. Well, once again I've set my expectations too high. I find it kind of odd that one thing my psychologist told me was wrong with me is that I was too negative. Well, you know, it is REALLY hard to stay positive and be realistic at the same time. I'm almost done with my first semester at Bethel and I'm starting to wonder if I will ever be TRULY happy at any college I go to. I mean, don't get me wrong, Bethel is a great place, but I still feel...lost...lacking...alone.
There are certain things about Bethel that I absolutely ADORE like the fact that I can actually talk to my professors about anything, they're approachable, they challenge you, they help you, they care about you, they understand you because they're Christian too. That's another thing I love. I'm not hearing the F word every fifteen minutes throughout the day. There aren't drunk people banging on my door at 3 o'clock in the morning. I've gotten involved here. I love my dance team Shekinah Glory. The girls are amazing and we really connect, but we don't really do anything together outside of dance and I'm such a shy and anxious person and I'm  like my grandma where I'm not gonna take the initiative. So, yes, I know some things I'm feeling are my fault. Bethel is a lot safer than MacMurray and they plan a lot more activities. I love chapel and that my spiritual needs are met. However, one thing I can't get other is being away from my family. I miss my friends at MacMurray. I had the BEST roommate last year and the BEST friends. They were exactly what I needed while going through that time. Before I left home for Bethel my mom said that she wasn't worried about me because she knew that God would send people to be with me.  I don't feel like that prayer has been answered. My roommate's family was so nice to me last year and I had a church that I could walk to every Sunday and they treated me like family. I haven't had any luck finding a new church yet. Even though I wasn't at a Christian college last year I felt like I was doing more to strengthen my faith. Now it kinda feels like I'm just going through the motions.
So I'm starting to realize that I had to sacrifice some things for others. I still think Bethel is the better option for me and I am happy...occasionally. And I know some of the changes I'm in the process of making are going to take time. I wish I could feel and see the good in things while they're happening instead of realizing it after they have happened.

"There's just something really wrong with me. I want to change, but I__I can't. And I just know I'll never fit in anywhere."-Jo March, Little Women (one of my literary heroes.)

Thanksgiving Break

I didn't blog at all over Thanksgiving break. I was hoping for a relaxing time with my family but with everything I had due this week it wasn't as relaxing as I was hoping it would be. I did enjoy myself though. Tuesday night the car ride only took us 6 hours instead of 7 because Joey likes to speed. Which I have no problem with if it means I get home sooner. :) My sister, my friend Kelsey, and I went and ate dinner at Tequilas our favorite Mexican restaurant to see our favorite Mexican Juan Pablo. We always have so much fun every time we go! :) So that night was AWESOME!!! It was the earliest I've ever gotten home from school.
 Wednesday got even BETTER!!! First, I got to sleep in. I can never seem to sleep in whenever I go home which really kinda sucks, but this time I DID!! Got my hair trimmed which is always nice because they style my hair all nice like afterwards so that I feel pretty. :) Then my sister and I went and had  lunch over at our sister-in-law's house and visited with her. She's getting so pregnant (I would say big, but she's already so self-conscious about that). Only 5 more weeks to go. She can have it any time after 2 weeks, but I'm hoping the baby will wait at least 3 weeks so that I can be there. We also played with our darling dog niece Daisy. We both had to leave after a while because my sister had to work and I had to stop at Wal Mart for my mom. Between then and church I did homework. :( Yucky! Even though reading the Bible shouldn't be yucky.Then I went to church with my mom. When church was finished I went and saw Love and Other Drugs with my friend Kelsey. Good story line but awful movie. There was so much nudity and yuck in it.
Thursday was of course Thanksgiving. We had the fam over. We ate and hung out. I enjoyed talking to everybody and playing with the cousins for once in my life. I don't know what it was but for once they were easy to talk to and I didn't feel so self-conscious and weird talking and being around them. I felt like I did a good job socializing and controlling my social anxiety. After everybody left I did homework. Rented a movie, but didn't end up watching it because I watched the GLEE episode that I had missed Tuesday. SO AMAZING CAN'T WAIT TIL TOMORROW'S EPISODE! Did more homework. Decided I WASN'T gonna wake up at 3:00 IN THE MORNING to g Black Friday shopping. Then ended the night by finishing my book that I was reading. It was about Liz Murray the girl who went from being homeless to going to Harvard.
I did go shopping Friday. Mom and I didn't go til like 9 or 10. Still got good deals and we had really good luck finding a parking spot and finding what we wanted. Got some of my Christmas shopping done and got to pick out pretty much everything I'm getting for Christmas. Came back and went on a walk with my sister and watched the movie that I rented called What About Bob. Did homework. We took my mom out for an early birthday dinner at a Greek restaurant. It was so nice and cute and it was dark and cold, but it doesn't matter because you're with your family and the car is all nice and toasty. Did more homework when I got home and did other stuff that I can't remember. :)
Did a lot of homework Saturday. Started packing a little. We took my mom out to lunch for her birthday with my brother and sister-in-law. Mom did some more shopping. When we got back my mom, sister, and I put up the Christmas tree. They did most of the work, which was unusual because it's usually me and mom. Kelsey and I went and ate at Denny's then watched Charlie St. Cloud. After she left I took an oatmeal bath because I was so itchy. Kinda made a mess that didn't make my mom happy.
Sunday I finished packing. Went to church. Finished homework. Went to a birthday party. Took a walk with my sister. Sat around waiting for my ride. Then my sister got a call from her friend telling her she could go pick up her puppy. So I went with her to do that. His name is Frampton and is so adorable. Then my ride got here and I spent the next 7 hours of my life in a car.
So...I am EXHAUSTED. I was able to finish some work. Thank you Jesus! But I'm so tired and I'm not looking forward to the next 3 weeks and I miss my family and I miss Frampton and I'm bored...and I just don't like my school life.
Back to reality...

Bored...

So...I'm sitting here...at my computer...BORED OUTTA MY MIND!
Tomorrow is the start of Thanksgiving break AND IT CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH!!! I'll pretty much be in class all morning then in a car all day. It's a 7 hour car ride so I'm not looking forward to that, I don't like packing, I don't like unpacking, time changes and recuperating is the worst, and I have so much homework that's gonna be do when I get back, but I CANNOT wait to be HOME! I love being at home during this time of year. I love talking with my family and being around them. I like hanging out with my friends and going shopping. I like helping put up Christmas decorations and listening to music. I love walking after we eat Thanksgiving. I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!! They bring out the best in me, but like I've said before, they also bring out the worst in me, but they still love the worst in you.

College is great for some people and I'm not saying I don't like it. It's really more of the dorm setting that I don't like. I wish I could have my own space. Decorate it how I want. Do whatever I want. That's why I love home. Home is comfortable and warm. I feel loved and happy.

We're a pretty bunch aren't we?

Just a Thought...

So...lately for some reason, some of my professors have been talking about birth control. How it's becoming more popular. They're not actually stating their opinions but they keep saying how some people don't approve of birth control because it's going against God's will and that they're playing God. I can see why they would believe this. I think it's a very valid point, but in a way isn't that almost like saying that when you decide to go on chemo or even go off of chemo and refuse treatment, that you're playing God? Despite whether or not you decide to get treatment God is still gonna do according to His plan.

Another reason for this thought and why I disagree with people who don't like birth control is because...I take birth control. I don't take it for the reason you're thinking, but when people say things like that it just adds to my shame. Stop stereotyping.

Many girls take it because of irregular periods or some even have disorders that cause them to have to go on birth control. My sister has polycistic ovarian syndrome so she has to take birth control. I had to start taking birth control after I had a period that lasted for 6 weeks. If you've never had a period that lasts for that long, be thankful and you have NO IDEA how painful that is. I started off not having a period, then my periods were coming and going every other or every other two weeks until I had one that didn't stop. Throughout the whole process to determine that it was just a hormone imbalance I was depressed. I gained 40 pounds, so I had to stop dancing because I was too self-conscious about my body. I had frequent thoughts of suicide. I felt guilty because at the time my parents wouldn't let my sister take birth control. I had frequent doctor's visits and I HATE the doctor. Since I was depressed I stopped hanging out with my friends. I had THE WORST cramps that felt like I was being stabbed and they'd come on suddenly and wouldn't go away.

So...please, next time you talk about birth control be aware of your audience.

Another side note. I would never recommend that a girl go on birth control just because she has a lot of acne or bad cramps. Or if you do to take them temporarily. Birth control that contains estrogen has been known to increase your risk of cancers. But birth control that contains progestin has been known to decrease your risk.

Just keep this thought in mind.

Giving Thanks

So..yesterday at my Bible Study called Diamonds we were asked what we were thankful for. So many of them had really good answers. By that I mean, yeah, they may have said something totally overstated like family, but they individualized it. They explained why they were thankful for their family. Something I never think to do. When my family goes around and says what they're thankful for it's usually a one-word response like "family" or "food." It made me embarrassed to even give a response.

I was also embarrassed because I've been in a negative Nancy mood. Like, yeah, I'm thankful that I'm here at Bethel, but I feel like last year my relationship with God was so much stronger and I was more in tune with our relationship, now, I'm just kinda, dumbfounded. I know He's there and I like that I go to chapel 3 days a week and that I have Christian friends and professors and that we are open to talk about our faith, but I feel like a liar, just talking the talk and not actually walking the walk when it comes to my faith. I also you know read my Bible and stuff but it's not a leisure activity anymore. It's more of a chore. I don't even know what emotion you would call what I'm feeling. Confusion. Doubt. Boredom. I have no idea. I guess since last year was so rough for me I was actively seeking out God, this year, since I'm already surrounded my Christians and His Word I guess I don't think that I should be having any problems or that I don't need to seek God out. But I do. I really do.

Sometimes I think there is such a thing as too much church. Too much praying. Too much reading. I think when you actively do those things everyday and you're not used to it it can become overwhelming. You kind of feel like you can't be yourself. Because a part of who you are is not a Christ-like example. So you feel like you have to change every ounce of your being. You also feel like you should be happy all the time and that all the problems you had before will just disappear. No. Life never goes away. So you need to learn to make the best of it. For me, that's TRYING to keep a positive attitude. Keeping my family close. Keeping God closer. And going  to somebody for help when I need it. Maybe that's another problem I have. That I don't actually tell people when something is bothering me. I'm kinda bad at going and getting help.

So...there are things that I'm thankful for. I just like to state the negative before the positive. :) Before I tell you what I'm thankful for I'm going to tell you what I think I need to work on. Kind of like a New Year's resolution (I know it's not New Years yet. But why does it have to be on New Years?)

1. Be nicer to myself. Accept my faults. Learn not to be so hard on myself.
2. Be open. Not afraid to be myself.
3. Treasure my family more.
4. Treasure my friends more.
5. Build up my relationship with God. View myself and the world as He does.

Now on to what I'm thankful for. :)
1. I'm thankful I've made it another semester through school.
2. I'm thankful for my sister. Our relationship has grown so much and I'm so happy that our relationship is now strong enough for us to go to each other when we need help.
3. I'm always thankful for my parents. They're helping me pay for college. That from them is more than enough. But I'm also thankful for the life that they gave me and how supportive they are.
4. I'm thankful for Tim and Kristen. Seeing them grow together has been a joy and I'm so thankful for the life they are about to bring into this world.
5. I'm thankful that I am at a Christian college where I have classmates who believe in the same things I do and that I feel encouraged by my professors and that I feel comfortable going to them for help.
6. I'm thankful for music because it's a huge tool I use to strengthen my faith.
7. I'm  thankful that ALL my basic needs are met and that I still even receive things that I desire when so many people don't even receive the things they need.
8. This year has made me thankful for the friends I had at school last year. I was lucky to have such a supportive roommate and decent friends. (This year has kinda been the opposite. Good school, but I'm kinda lacking with the friends.) I guess just another way of God strengthening me. :)
9. I'm thankful that the dorms this year had air conditioning! Because I don't like being hot.
10. I'm thankful that I am being challenged with my classes and that even though it's tough at times I know that my education is worth the cost.

I hope you enjoyed my tid bits! :)

Winter Wonderland

Yesterday was the first day that it was cold enough for me to wear my winter coat. It seemed like I was cold all day and that I couldn't get warm.

Well, I go to school in Indiana, but my home is in Illinois near St. Louis. Before I didn't think the weather was going to be that different, but then upper classmates kept telling me how crazy cold it gets and how much snow we get. It was just complain complain complain. Now I am not a big fan of snow and the cold either, but I was laying in bed last night thinking about it and I came to the conclusion that winter is really not bad. In fact, I kind of enjoy it.

1. I love wearing cute sweaters and scarves. Can't do that in the summer unless you want to get heat stroke. No thank you!
2. It's not humid so I usually have good hair days. :)
3. That means the semester is almost over so you only have another half to go. :)
4. Yes, the cold makes your noise run...and run, but sometimes I like it when it does that, especially if I'm all stuffed up. It cleans all that crap outta there. :)
5. It makes drinking hot cocoa, tea, coffee, .... more enjoyable.
6. If you get really dry skin it's an excuse to go visit Bath and Body Works. Guys, we know you secretly like that stuff. :)
7. It's the perfect weather for sitting on the couch, drinking hot chocolate with a blanket and a book. :) Can you tell I'm kind of a nerd? :)
8. I LOVE Christmas and Advent.
9. A continuation of #8, Winter is the time of year that I get to see my family the most.
10. I love dressing up and going out to a concert or something and when you're leaving your absolutely freezing but you don't care because the night was amazing. You're dressed all nicely and you can see the stars so clearly. You get into the car and crank up the heat and it feels so good that by the time you get home you're asleep.
11. It means more cuddle time. :)
12. and more hugs
13. It's my mom, grandmas, brother, and niece/nephew's birthday.
14. It's a time of giving.
15. I like hearing the Salvation Army ringers. :) Though I probably should be giving more money than I do. :(
16. It's Thanksgiving and Christmas! Duh!
17. and New Years and sometimes Valentine's Day.
18. I get to wear my glittens. :) Which make me happy.
19. It's an excuse not to go outside and exercise. :)
20. Even though snow can look absolutely disgusting after it starts melting, the grass is always so much greener.
21. It makes showers and baths more relaxing.
22. I get to do more shopping. Not just for myself but for others too. :)


I just love winter, even when I say that I hate it, I really mean that I love it. :) So next time you complain that you don't like winter just think of all these positives. :) and you'll make it through.

So, I must really love making lists because that's what all my blogs seem to be, but that's okay because it's my blog and I like it. :)

Sesta Sesta

So...today while I was in speech class this blog came to me while we were talking about special occasion speeches. And my sister and I had a very nice conversation last night.

I love the times that I spend with my wise, beautiful, funny, talented big sister. We always have so much fun together. We love going out to eat at Tequila Mexican Restaurant where we both used to work at. We like to go and visit our Latino friends. :) And we often times get cravings for chips and salsa. :) We go to the movies and shopping (she drives of course, because she doesn't like my driving). Whenever I came home for fall break she even ditched classes so that we could spend the day together since she had to work later that afternoon and was getting together with her friends that night. Yup, my sister is pretty awesome. But the thing I love the most is that we can talk to each other about pretty much anything. We spend most of our time bickering about our parents of course. :) But when she and I are together we are such a riot! We laugh and goof off and it's so much fun. The voices and faces we make are unforgettable.

However, we of course didn't always used to be like this. Before I would have considered us enemy sisters, but now I consider us to be more like friends. Friends who like to tease each other and have a mean sense of humor. So...yeah...pretty much friends!

P.S. I tried not to make this one a list this time. I hope you guys are enjoying it!

Reasons Why I Love My Mother

My mother is amazing and we have one of those awesomely rare good relationships. Though I think this has disadvantages as well as advantages. But I'm not supposed to be thinking negatively, so that's why I'm gonna talk about how much I love her. :)

1. She LOVES me Despite all my not so good qualities.
2. Even though I'm 19 she still supports me financially and for that I'm thankful.
3. She's so wise. I go to her for everything.
4. She gives THE BEST HUGS!
5. She works hard.
6. Sometimes it seems like she knows me better than I know myself.
7. She's honest when I ask her how I look in something. Sometimes a little too honest. :)
8. She pushes me outside of my comfort zone.
9. She brought me to Christ. Well, her and Dad. :)
10. I think she's the ONLY person who cries more than I do. :)
11. She's not afraid to put herself out there. Her jokes may suck, but that's what makes them hilarious.
12. She's who I get my kick-butt legs from.
13. She gives good advice, not just when it comes to how I look.
14. She married my dad and they're still together.
15. She loves her Mom.
16. She has GREAT skin.
17. She has good taste in books and movies.
18. She sings loud and proud even though she can't sing. :)
19. She's fun to be with.
20. She's aware of her faults and she is always improving herself.

I pretty much love that woman to death. I admire her. My niece or nephew is going to have the best Gramma ever!

Me and Mom at Tim and Kristen's wedding.

P.S. I thought of this post when I was in Life Span Development this morning. :) We were talking about the different ways that men and women communicate. Don't know why this popped into my head. :)

18 things I want my niece or nephew to know

Today at church we had a baptism and it had me longing for the day when I would get to see my little niece or nephew for the first time. When he or she is born these are the things that I want them to know. I'd like it if I was the one to teach them, but if I'm not that's okay. :)

1. You Are Oh So VERY LOVED!

2. You are a Unique Child of God and He loves you very much!
3. You are NEVER alone.

4. Receive thankfully and give graciously.

5. Never change for ANYBODY EXCEPT YOURSELF, and make sure it's a change of IMPROVEMENT.

6. You are here for a reason, though sometimes that reason may not always seem very clear.

7. Don't be like your Aunt Liz and hold on to your anger. Be quick to forgive (I know this one will be tough).

8. Don't give up doing something that you love just because somebody tells you to, they say you're not good enough, or they tell you there's something better, or you have more important obligations. Live your passion.

9. Respect your parents. I know there will be times that you will not be able to stand the sight of them, but they love you so much, and being a parent is one of the toughest things you can be (though I believe being a child is no walk in the park either).

10. NEVER give up HOPE. God is ALWAYS looking out for you and HE is in control.

11. Live by your standards and nobody else's (as a Christian there will be times when this is difficult).

12. Take pride in your accomplishments.

13. Don't be afraid to leave home to follow your dreams.

14. There's a reason for EVERYTHING. It just takes us a little while to figure it all out.

15. Tell the truth. LIES EAT YOU ALIVE! And it's just the moral thing to do.

16. Don't use foul language. It just makes you sound stupid with a weak vocabulary.

17. Your story is God's story, so don't ever be afraid to share it.

And lastly...I'm sure Gamma Troup will be the one to teach you this...
18. Treat others as you would like to be treated. You don't know everybody's story and not everybody will know your story. Believe me, this one will take time. Be patient.

I can't wait to meet you little one!

                                                  7 months and counting...

Forgiveness

Forgiveness. It’s probably the hardest action for me as a human to perform. You would think that since Christ was able to forgive me so freely that I’d be able to do it as well. But that’s just it, I was born sinful and therefore like my ability to do what is right, I have lost my ability to forgive.

A young girl who attended Virgin Tech and was killed the day of the shooting wrote in her very last journal entry, “When deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future,” a simple statement yet such a difficult concept. When I do not forgive, feelings of guilt and anger remain within me and make it a challenge to go about my day. I want so desperately to go back in time and change what happened, but life is not performed that way.  I’ve realized over the years that when I finally do forgive, not only do I let go of those feelings of guilt and anger, but I’m able to continue on with my life, a life that is better than it was before.

Despite having learned that I need to forgive if I want to feel better, it’s not always that easy. I have a tendency to go back to my sinful ways and replay over and over again in my head what mistake I made or what that person said to me that hurt my feelings. The brain is a very powerful thing, but such a nuisance at the same time, that it always keeps us remembering our past, though I can say confidently that I would not be the person I am today without my past and am grateful for my past. However, I’m sure the devil uses our brains to his advantage as well. He weakens us in every way that he can. One of my weaknesses is forgiveness and he definitely uses it against me, but thank God for the power of the Holy Spirit who brings me back to the Good News that I am saved!

Things like faith, hope, forgiveness, love as we get older we try and make them so complicated, but really they’re so simple. So why is it that it takes so much for me to forgive? I have absolutely no idea besides blaming my human nature and the behaviors and actions I learned as a child. I guess the best way I can go about overcoming this obstacle is to continue to remember that just as Christ forgave me when He shed His blood for me, I must forgive also. I must pray for strength. I must remember that though this life can be disgusting, stressful, and just plain awful, it can also be funny, enjoyable, and just plain great and I as a Christian know that things do get better from here.

·         I am selfish and put my comfort and needs before someone else’s

·         I envy others who have what I do not

·         I seek out negative attention even when somebody clearly needs it more than I do

·         I don’t appreciate the things that I am given

·         I take advantage of people

·         Sometimes I slack off

·         I don’t handle situations well

·         I exaggerate

·         I lie

·         I gossip and make fun

·         I lust

·         I am slow to forgive

·         But quick to anger

·         I’m critical

·         I hurt others and myself

·         I don’t trust God like I should

·         I don’t obey or listen to what He has to say

·         I steal

·         I disobey my parents and other authority

·         I am a sinner

But I am forgiven!

Elizabeth, I forgive you!

(This is actually a letter that my counselor made me write to myself).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv50xrsFNdU check this movie out...I cry every time.