The Season of Giving

So after reading "In Style" magazine I was inspired by all the celebrities who chose a charity to support for the holiday. Specifically, inspired by Sarah Jessica Parker who is an avid supporter of the NYC Ballet, I decided this year to donate to Ballet Magnificat! Ballet Magnificat! was founded in 1986 with the desire to share the Good News through the art of dance. *Side note: In Latin Magnificat! means "to magnify Him." Ballet Magnificat! performs all over the world (And I so wish I could see them perform!) and seeks to show their audience Christ's love through dance. A great organization with a great message. 

My goal is to every year around this time (because it's so cliche to do that) is to pick an organization and donate a small portion of money to them. (I'd actually like to do it more than once a year, but I'm a college student with soooo much money). Something else I stumbled upon was that every summer Ballet Magnificat! has a Summer Dance Intensive and so every year they're looking for volunteers to be counselors for the dancers (A.K.A. Dorm Parents). I would really like to volunteer this summer. I think it would be a great opportunity, not only to maybe refine my own dancing skills, but also to grow in faith and help others grow in faith. Sure, I should be concentrating more on getting a job *cough Mom cough* but you know what, I figure God will provide. He provided me with a job a couple summers ago when it looked like I wasn't going to get one. I have to have faith that I will this summer too. And if I have an opportunity to volunteer for a good cause why should I not take it? God commands us to serve others and to love others as we love ourselves and that's what I want to do this summer. Now I just have to come up with roughly $400, money to get me there (Ballet Magnificat! is in Jackson, MS), 3 letters of recommendation, and convince my parents to let me go....good thing I have until May. :)

Find out more about Ballet Magnificat! at their website: www.balletmagnificat.com

I know it's a little late, but...I don't care

The first week back from Thanksgiving break. It was such a good break! And a much needed one!

 Our family does the tradition every year of going around the room and saying what we're thankful for after my dad says the prayer and I just wanted to share a few things that I'm thankful for (and what my family said too).

1. My family of course because they're awesome! More specifically Grace. She's been a huge blessing in my life and I never thought I could love somebody (especially a baby, because I'm not very good with babies) this much. And I'm thankful that she remembers me every time I come home from school. :)

2. My puppy Petey because dogs are wonderful and it's proven that people with pets live longer. :)

3. That I am saved through faith in Christ Jesus and can worship freely and that I was raised in a Christian home.

4. The gift of music and the ability to hear. Music soothes the soul and makes me feel good. :)

5. I'm thankful for the caring staff and professors at Bethel that are always there for me when I need them. And that I can actually afford to go to Bethel. :)

6. That I know ASL and can communicate with Deaf people.

7. My friends, both at home and at school. I'm a lot to deal with so anybody that can handle my personality is a trooper. :)

8. I have the ability to read and see the world around me (that God so beautifully created)

9. 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. chances. :)

10. Blogging, I like it a lot and is a great therapy. :)

11. That this semester is almost over. :)

12. Chiropractors! They're life-savers!

13. And my personal favorite that my dad says every year...indoor plumbing and toilet paper because I could never pee outside so hopefully I never get stuck in the woods. :)

"Being rich in money and things doesn't last. Being rich in the Lord and people last forever."

Everyday I recite this quote and try and remind myself of its words. And everyday I try and convince myself that if God knew I needed another job or money, He would make sure I was provided for. But as a college student who's going to be in school an extra year because of a sucky poor life choice I made my freshman year, the youngest of three, stressed out makes okay money parents, car owner, on the verge of becoming a shopaholic, and suffers from chronic stress/anxiety/worry/depression/pain/pity-me syndrome (if you couldn't already tell I made that up. That's not a real disease). So...this combination is not a very good one. And you know I'm not some lazy hobo that sits on my butt all day. I got classes. I have homework. And more homework. And more homework. And you know I don't want to be a pathetic wallflower who has no fun like I was last year, but sometimes I just don't know when to say no to people and then later I regret going and hanging out at the mall instead of staying in my dorm working on homework, but really the only reason I worry about homework is because I want to do well in my classes, but I want to do well in my classes mostly because I want to keep my 3.0 so that I can keep my scholarship. Otherwise I'll have to take out more loans and add another 10 years on to paying them off and I'll being listening to my parents bitch (that's right I said bitch, that's how upset I am right now) about me getting a job and wasting their money and doing better in classes and paying for crap, but you know what, I really don't want to be dependent on my parents. I hate that I'm a spoiled brat that sometimes has to ask for money and usually gets it but would not know how to live without my parents. So you know after I try to remind myself of my dad's quote (yeah, that's right my dad said that) it's followed by a but and this long shpeel that I just gave.......and scene!
I think I'm done venting now.

Ahh...JJ you always know what to say...Remember God will love me for me.

Oh the joys of being a Lutheran

Oh jeez, you know you're a Lutheran when you wish somebody a Happy Reformation day or All Saints Day and they have no idea what you're talking about. So yesterday was Halloween and the chapel speaker, you know mentioned something about today being a pagan holiday or something along those lines blah blah blah...well, you know what, yesterday was also Reformation Day. By no means is that a pagan holiday.

Reformation day was when Martin Luther posted his Ninety-Fives Theses on the doors of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany on October 31, 1517. This triggered the Reformation movement. Martin Luther posted his Ninety-Five Theses in revolt to the Catholic church (no offense to Catholics, I respect you very much!) who believed in things like purgatory, the selling of indulgences, and that we are saved by good works. Luther only intended for his Theses to bring up discussion, but it turned into the Reformation and a lot more denominations than we had started with. Luther did not agree with the Catholic teaching. He believed that we are saved by faith in Christ Jesus and His grace alone (however, good works are how we serve our God and His  people, and can help build up our faith).
I feel like many people view Luther poorly (and I agree that what he said about Jews wasn't very nice) but I do think that we should thank and honor him for his work because first of all, he really did not think that highly of himself, he was always trying to figure out what God wanted from him and to honor him. He did not want to be known as a saint or to have Lutheranism named after him, because it was God's work and God's church. And second of all, if it wasn't for Luther, unless you're Catholic, your church or denomination or whatever you want to call it would not be here......end of story.

Now All Saints Day is a Catholic holiday, but some Protestant churches celebrate it, my church does. Basically, it's one day out of the year that we commemorate all the saints that have gone before us. Our church lists off everybody in our congregation who has passed away within the last year and rings the bell for each. It's kind of like the country's Veteran's Day or President's Day.

Ok, that's all.

Wow, I just realized I am definitely my father's child....a little sad.

Someone Worth Dying For

You might be the wife,
Waiting up at night
You might be the man,
Struggling to provide
Feeling like it's hopeless

Maybe you're the son,
Who chose a broken road
Maybe you're the girl,
Thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God can you hear me?
Oh God are you listening?

(Chorus)
Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for

I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep asking, what everybody's asking

Chorus

You're worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah the Cross has proven
That you're sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose

You are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see you're something beautiful
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see
That you're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you
Are someone worth dying for

You're someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for
I love this song! I listen to it anytime I need to feel uplifted. I am someone worth dying for and someone did die for me. His name is Jesus and He's my Lord and Savior!

Down Memory Lane

So this past week has brought back so many memories from my freshman year of college. Unfortunately these are not good memories. With the situation I'm going through right now sometimes I feel like it's worse than freshman year, but then when I stop and think about it I realize how much better it actually is. Sure, the present situation has caused me a lot more trouble and grief, but I've had so much more support and the staff here has done so much for me to make it better (more than I can say about the staff freshman year). It's a constant reminder of God's presence and how my mom has been right all along (yes, I can't believe I just admitted that) and God has blessed me with wonderful people and I am being taken care of. It's such a relief to know that....

 Freshman year with the best gal ever!

Shekinah Glory! 

Sophomore year

Junior year service day!

Junior year

Me at apple picking, that's my favorite ring that I lost so if you see it...please give it back! Please and Thanks!

There could never be a more beautiful you!

Today at 5 Star we talked to our group of kids about labels. Unfortunately, everybody is going to get labeled. Sometimes we like those labels and sometimes we don't. The important thing to realize is that you can choose what to label yourself as and you can accept or reject those labels.

One label I think every person should have and believe in...

            

Gracie, I hope you know that!

"God has made everything beautiful in its time."-Ecclesiastes 3:11

Here am I, I will go.

Monday's chapel this week was amazing. Some people weren't crazy about the speaker, but it was something I definitely needed to hear. It was the perfect message that God could have sent me. The speaker talked to us about callings...our calling in life. For many, we consider our calling to be our career. That is what I thought for the longest time. People get it into their heads that our career is what defines us. Our career is our social status, the money maker, the better the career the higher status and the more money we make. The truth...in God's economy, in God's kingdom, not one career is superior to the other. 

For some college is the time we take to figure out our calling and establish careers, but what we neglect to do is listen to God's calling. When we neglect His calling you know what it gets us? Burdens...sometimes even after years of schooling we don't know what we want to do and we feel belittled and pressured to "do something with our lives". It's even worse for those who are majors like art, music, liberal arts, even education or psychology in some cases because "what can you do with that?" or "You're gonna have to spend more money to go to school for that."
For those who are in school (particularly me) we are given the burden of making sure we study our guts out and spend all our time doing school work so that we can get good grades and extracurricular activities to establish names for ourselves so that we can have something after college.

And don't even get me started on the burdens of loans and money in college.

So what is my calling? For a long time I thought it was to be a student. To prepare myself as well as I can for a career. Yes, I am called to be a student and to minister through my career of choice, but most importantly I am called to be God's disciple...that doesn't mean studying my guts out and obsessing about a future career...it means listening to God's calling and serving Him and His people.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-And this is not from ourselves, it is a gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."-Ephesians 2:8-10

"Lord, here am I. I will go. Send me out to make you known."

It Whispers...So Listen

As I promised in one of my previous blogs today I'm going to talk about Ovarian Cancer.... :) I'll try and make this as comfortable as possible. :)


Definition:
Ovarian Cancer is a disease where cancerous cells are found in the ovaries, the reproductive organs that produce eggs in females (so guys...you don't have these so you don't have to worry about getting it. :) ) Cancer developes when cells in our body start to grow out of control. Normally, the cells in our body divide to form new ones so that they can replace the old and dying ones. When cancer cells appear they don't die. They outline our normal healthy cells and continue to grow and those abnormal cells create tumors and tumors can hurt by putting pressure on our organs....So cancer is just not fun. :( It's really not fun when those cells spread through metastasis to other parts of our body.


Stats:
Ovarian Cancer is the fifth most common type of cancer among women ages 35-74 and causes more deaths than any other type of reproductive cancer. An estimation of 1 out of every 58 women will develop ovarian cancer in her lifetime. In 2009 the American Cancer Society estimated 21,550 new cases of ovarian cancer. 14, 600 were expected to die from it (I don't know if this statistic is true. If you want to know you research it :) ). If Ovarian Cancer is caught in the early stages a 5-year survival rate is over 90%. Unfortunately, since symptoms in the early stages are hard to detect only 19% of cases are found. When Ovarian Cancer is caught in stage III or higher the survival rate is as low as 30.6%


Symptoms:
So one of the things that sucks about Ovarian Cancer-the symptoms...you probably experience them on a regular basis...and the ovaries are so small so they're hard to find...they're only about the size of a walnut and farther down in your abdomain than you would think...
Symptoms include:

• Bloating
• Pelvic/Abdominal pain
• Trouble eating or feeling full quickly
• Feeling like you need to pee all the time
• Fatigue
• Upset stomach/Heartburn
• Back pain
• Constipation/Menstrual changes

So...what should you do if you experience these symptoms? Well, if they persist for more than 2 weeks even after other interventions are used (diet change, laxatives, rest, exercise, etc.) see your doctor!


There are over 30 different types of Ovarian cancer. 3 common cell types are:

• Surface Epithelium - cells covering the lining of the ovaries
• Germ Cells - cells that are destined to form eggs
• Stromal Cells - Cells that release hormones and connect the different structures of the ovaries

Stages:
There are IV stages to Ovarian Cancer.
Stage I-Cancer is present in and around the ovaries only.
Stage II-Cancer in one or both ovaries and has spread to the other reproductive organs (uterus, fallopian tubes) or other pelvic organs.
Stage III-Cancer is in one or both ovaries and has spread to lymph nodes and/or abdomen
Stage IV-This is the most advanced stage and it includes cancer in the ovaries and has spread to organs located outside of the peritoneal cavity (separates organs in the abdominal cavity from the abdominal wall) or in the pleural fluid (from the cavity which surrounds the lungs).


What Can You Do?

• If you're a woman-Know your body, know your risks, get your annual pelvic exam and other stuff we don't like.
• Guys...And girls-spread awareness and support Ovarian Cancer Research! :) There's a lot of great organizations out there.
• Use goodsearch instead of google. Goodsearch let's you put in a charity of your choice and will give money to that charity.
• Wear teal.

Do Not:
Freak out and call your doctor thinking you have Ovarian Cancer! Women over 35 are at a much greater risk along with other risks involved like family history. Also another good thing about birthcontrol...progesterone decreases your risk! :) Just use it wisely. :)

All info was from the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (one of the great organizations that you can goodsearch). :)
I apologize if the info is incorrect or misleading

Your love your love is my drug...

I just want to start off by saying how much I love my big sissy and our crazy craziness & the awesome talks we have about life.

Anywho...today I wanted to talk about how my mom mentioned that blogging for me was like therapy, which it pretty much is and I love it! I can use it whenever I want and it doesn't cost me anything. :) but seeing a therapist is totally cool! :) I've been to 3 different ones and I loved them ( and not just because of the drugs they gave me :) ) but because it totally helped to have somebody to talk to and share those dreaded secrets you can't share with anybody else. Plus when they point out all your flaws (which nobody likes) you realize how right they are and they give you the right tools and teach you to better yourself and eventually you won't need them anymore...usually. If you work at it. A lot of my therapists had me do some kind of journaling which I found really helpful but it was just exhausting trying to find the time to do it. That's why I love blogging. I can do it whenever I need to. And I'll probably still need to see a therapist every once in a while but, you know, anxiety and depression and other things that don't seem like such a big deal really are. Which is why you should never be afraid to ask for help. That's something I still struggle with but getting better at. :)

Also, if you're thinking about a career in counseling, I recommend that you go at least once and get a feel for it, and learn a few tricks you can use with your patients someday. :)

*I just realized how much I use the word "totally" :p

Blah...

Everything that has gone wrong this week:

• This past week was Spiritual Emphasis Week, I do not feel spiritually emphasized.
• I was 30 minutes late to my doctor's appointment because my GPS didn't save the address and I'm horrible with directions and I don't like being late. :(
• Got behind on homework.
• Recently, signed up to do 5 Star and instead of being excited about it I spent the entire night freaking out about it and feeling completely overwhelmed with everything I have to do.
• Accompanied with that is wondering what purpose God has for me and what He has called me to do and HATING that I don't know.
• Now being sick and all the yuck that accompanies that-no sleep, discomfort, getting behind on homework, having my first tests on Tuesday and feeling ill prepared, plus all my other homework and projects due this next week.
•  Missing my family-especially Grace. :(
• Finding out that Grace can crawl. Thanks for telling me Mom. I hate being out of the loop.

But, I keep trying to remind myself to have faith like a child. I got to skype with Grace today which did make me miss her, but I was reminded of how little care she has. ;) She currently has an ear infection, sinus infection, and yeast infection, but you wouldn't know by the way she acts. She was a little fussy, but no more than usual, but she just kept banging on that keyboard and talking to me. I seriously cannot help but smile when I see her because of how cute and carefree she is. I desperately wish I could go back to being like a child, not just because I would be so dependent on other people or the attention or having no responsibilities :), but because I want to experience that carefree life again. When you grow up you get so caught up in life that you lose that attitude. Being sick just becomes another weakness and a distraction from the things that need to get down because if things don't get done it's the end of the world!

Please God help me to see the purpose you have for my life. Give me patience. Help me to get better in YOUR time. Keep me focused and motivated. Help me to have faith like a child. Thank you so much for placing Grace in my life. Before she was born I used to think about all the things I would be teaching her. I never imagined all the things she would be teaching me. Father I love you and I give you praise!

"So I say to you...

So, a long time ago, or maybe not that long ago, a wise pastor once did a sermon on the answers God gives you. He claimed that God has 3 answers to prayer. Those include:

• Yes
• Wait
• Not your way, My way

You'll notice that "no" does not make that list. Today in chapel the speaker talked about how many times when we are faced with difficult situations and when we ask for God's help He may answer no. This causes us, even those of us who are Christians, to lose that peace that we have knowing Jesus as Lord.

I don't know why bad things happen and I certainly do not claim to know everything (ha, I'm only in college. That's why I'm in college so I can learn everything. :) ) But one thing I do know is that God never says "no" to our prayers. He may not give us the answers we desire, but that doesn't mean he has not answered them.

I prayed that I would get in to Bethel College and have the time of my life. God answered me with "Yes, but it's not gonna be easy. You're gonna have to work hard."

I desperately needed a job a few summers ago. His answer, "Wait". Because I waited for His timing and not my own I got to babysit 3 amazing kids who touched my heart.

A lady at our church was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer (an awful cancer that I'll hopefully post about later because September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month). Not only were her husband, children, and grandchildren praying for her, the whole church prayed that she would get well again. Sadly, she died a few months ago. To some it may seem that God did not answer our prayer or that He answered it with a "no", but He didn't. His reply was "Not your way, My way." You see, she may not be here on this earth with us, but our prayer for her to be healed was answered. God gave her something much better than simply healing her physically. She got to go home! She got to go and be with her Maker! She's in Heaven with the Father pain free and cancer free! So our prayer for her to be healed was answered, she even got more than what we had prayed for. It just was not in the way we had in mind.

I encourage everybody to think about this concept of God never saying "no" to us. Sometimes it may seem a little ridiculous and you may completely disagree with me and that's fine, but believing God's answer to be "not your way, My way" is way more optimistic than the answer of "no" and I'm not usually an optimistic person. But this is one thing that I can be optimistic about.

Comments appreciated! :) I'll try not to be too sensitive. :)

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."-Luke 11:9-10 -That doesn't sound like a "no" to me. :) 

National To Save A Life Week

So in honor of National To Save A Life Week and Suicide Awareness I thought I'd share a personal story.

I've never attempted suicide. I've thought about it, I think we all have at one point in our lives. You begin to wonder how people would react if you were gone. You start to think that all this crap you're going through isn't worth it that things would just be easier if you ended it.

Last night at my Bible study someone there mentioned how God had taken everybody away from them. Two of their friends had committed suicide. They wondered why God would allow somebody to do something like that and why God had given us freewill. I'm never really sure what to say when someone asks me about something like that. The only thing I could think to say was that maybe God did try to do or say something to stop their friends from committing suicide, but they were not accepting His help. After I said that I literally started to cry. Tears streaming down my face and my lip quivering (I don't think my lip has ever quivered that much before). The reason behind my tears was that I've been in that same situation. There have been many times in my life where I have seeked God out for help hoping He would answer, but I never thought I was getting an answer. But I was...those answers usually involved other people. I truly believe that God puts people in our lives because He knows how hard it is for us to sometimes feel His presence, that sometimes we need someone to physically wrap their arms around you in a hug. 

The night before I left to come to Bethel sophomore year my mom came to my room bawling her eyes out (no surprise) and told me (pretty clearly for having cried so much. She's really good at crying and talking clearly) that she wasn't worried about me going so far away from home (Bethel's 7 hours away) because she knew God was going to put people in my life to watch out for me. My freshman year it was very evident that He had but almost all of last year I struggled with trying to figure out who and what God was doing in my life. Last night I realized that God had put people in my life, many people, but I was the one pushing people away. I wasn't taking God's help.

Sometimes it's hard to accept why people die, especially when they die from taking their own lives. But it's important to remember that because God gave us freewill people won't always accept the help you offer them, but that doesn't mean you should give up on them.

If my best friend had given up on me I doubt I would be here right now. I said that I had never attempted to kill myself, but I was a cutter. For the longest time my best friend didn't know about that situation. I thought I could handle the situation on my own and I didn't want to trouble her. When I finally did tell her she got so upset with me. I've only seen my best friend cry a few times since I've known her. This was one of those times. She blamed herself for my actions.She was mad that she hadn't been there for me. When I heard her blame herself for a choice I made I realized that I didn't want that. If I wasn't going to love myself for myself then I at least needed to do it for those who loved me.

My friend always comments on how I saved her life because I brought her to Christ. Well, she saved mine too. She showed me how to live and to accept the help of others.

So don't ever give up on someone you care about. And if it's too late, keep their memory alive, and don't let that stop you from trying to save someone else.

So for those friends/family who love me and have always been there for me (even when I didn't see it) THANK YOU!

For those who I've hurt and haven't offered my help to, I'M SORRY!

"When deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive. Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future."-Mary Karen Read (journal entry from a VA Tech shooting victim)

This applies to everybody. Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of the self.
I understand that we really are never alone, because God is with us ALWAYS, but He also commanded us to love one another, that means to show others they are never alone because we are there too.

Oh, back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.

Welcome back!
I've heard that a lot this past week. I am now officially a junior psychology and deaf studies major. So far I feel this is gonna be my hardest year yet. I think if I can survive this year I'll be able to make it the rest of my college career. But this time this year it's not gonna be the missing home and lack of independence part that's gonna be hard (I'm so proud of myself for not crying when I dropped my mom and sister at the train station. But my mom did :) ) What is gonna be hard is the work load that I'm gonna have this year. Research Methods and ASL III can you say EEK!!! To make matters worse I'm still needing to work on my motivation to do anything. And I need to work on not worrying about everything.

This week's worrying: Finding a job and having money to pay for stuff.

But the good news is that I'm not feeling homesick and lonely like I did last year and I just keep trying to remind myself:

"I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."-Philippians 1:6
So now matter what happens to me this year God has a purpose for me and that purpose is not finished until Jesus returns.

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO EMPOWERS ME. And so can you. :)

This summer is just another chapter...

Well, since yesterday I blogged about going back to school today I thought I would blog about how my summer was (although I probably should have blogged about the summer before I blogged about this next school year. Oh well). Nothing too exciting happened this summer. I wasn't able to go on any vacations this year (not even to my gma's. How sad). :( But that's okay because next summer my other gma is paying for my whole family to go on a cruise so I'm pretty stoked about that because it's the first time I've ever been on a cruise.

I spent the majority of my summer babysitting 3 kids that I babysat last year. They're not family. They're not friends of the family or from church. I found the family last year on a website care.com. But I kinda like to think that God sent them to me. :) The family situation isn't the greatest (I could have done my whole internship journal on them) and I spent most of my time getting aggravated with them (and their mom) and being kinda mean to them. But I like to think that I was a good influence on them and that maybe I helped them some how. I know that I learned a lot from them and hopefully will become a better babysitter because of them.

And on the days that I wasn't babysitting I was at an internship that was 2 1/2 hours away but was a great place to be. I was interning at Baptist Children's Home, a group home for teenagers (11-21) who are either sent their because their parents can't handle them or they get sent there by the state. It was really great to see a bunch of Christians working together and using their talents to help others in need. Everybody their truly cared about the residents and wanted to see them get better. It was also great to get to know some of the residents. They were honestly good kids, just misguided. I can't wait to see what their futures hold.

And when all that was over me and my sister had the pleasure (not) of getting our wisdom teeth out. We were definitely some of the unfortunates who have trouble with them. Then Dad got his surgery but that was a relief to have it done and for him to now be cancer-free PRAISE THE LORD!

Then of course in the mist of all this there was the occasional doctors appointments, movies, hanging with friends, working on stuff for school,
swimming, babysitting Grace, going to the mall, reading awesometastic books, and being lazy.

You know, it actually wasn't that bad of a summer overall.

School's coming! eeekkk!!!

So I totally just realized (while I'm sitting on the toilet) :) that I'm heading back to school in exactly one week! Okay, so I know this shouldn't be scary, but it totally is...I am FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW! If you were to see me right now it wouldn't look that way but I definitely am...totally...freaking...out.
I have nothing against Bethel (except it being 7 hours away from home) and my parents are driving me crazy and this summer was a bust soooo....why am I freaking out...well, I'm about to tell you.

1. I have to take Research Methods this semester and I have yet to get an A in a psych class at Bethel. This is gonna be a major stressor.
2. I HATE packing....and unpacking....and packing...and unpacking...and you get the picture.
3. I NEED to find a job, especially since I'm gonna have a car and I'm gonna need to pay for gas somehow.
4. I am NOT independent. I want to be but I'm not I still need my mommy to do things for me like cut me a piece of cherry pie because I'm not strong enough to cut it. :)
5. I don't like dorms. I like having my own space.
6. I don't like being sick when I'm away from my mommy and I'm a hypochondriac so that's a problem.
7. I can't be lazy anymore because I have to work to get as good of grades as I do.
8. I have a curfew. ;)
9. I miss my home friends (even though I didn't really do much with them this summer...sad.)
10. I don't like missing all the family and church gossip ;)
11. And the big one....MY NIECE....and Petey I can't forget Petey.

So now that I've depressed everybody...sorry but I had to let it out. :) Here are some reasons why I'm happy to be going back.

1. I'm living in the Lodge this year which is gonna be soooo nice. I'm pretty stoked about that.
2. Awesome chapels 3 days a week.
3. I'm closer to my gma so if I get too depressed I can go visit her...and get more depressed because she's depressing...okay maybe that's a bad idea...moving on.
4. I don't have to listen to my mom grumble and complain (and I don't have to load and unload the dishwasher).
5. My mom won't confuse my laundry with my sister's. But my sister will most likely be stealing my stuff while I'm gone and messing it up which really irritates me. But that's okay because all my good stuff is coming with me. And the laundry at school is free. :)
6. There's a lot more to do at Bethel
7. I get to see my friends (and hopefully I'll be more outgoing this year and do more with them).
8. I get to be independent (but I still need my mommy and daddy' money). :(
9. I'll enjoy my family time more because I'll actually want to see them after not seeing them for a while.
10. More life lessons to be learned and seeing God work in mysterious and wonderful ways.

Okay, I feel better now.

Dear Eugene,

Today Grandma and Aunt Lidka came to visit with Dad to see how he was doing after his surgery. Remember I told you about Dad getting prostate cancer? He went ahead and got his prostate removed so thank God they got it all and he should be okay. While Grandma and Aunt Lidka were visiting Grandma was telling us about how when she divorced you at the time she thought it was the worst thing ever but now she looks back on it and views it as a blessing. She says she was so fortunate to have raised such wonderful children and to have had such a good job. Grandma doesn't think Dad would have turned out the way he did if you would have stuck around. Honestly, I don't know how Dad would have turned out. But I do think that if you had stuck around my sibling and I would not have been emotionally abandoned. That's what Dad did to us. He didn't know what it was like to have a father so he didn't know how to act like one.

I've always said that I forgive you for what you did but I just really hope and pray that not a day in your life went by without you thinking about Grandma, Dad, Aunt Michelle, Aunt Chris, Aunt Andy, and all the other people you hurt. I knew there was good in you. Grandma wouldn't have fallen in love with you if there was not...I just wish I would have been able to see that side of you.

I think I've posted this quote before, but that's okay because it's a good quote.

e.e. cummings once wrote, "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
When you're a child we're molded and disciplined by our parents and other authority. We're inspired to be like our big brothers and sisters. We try to be just like our favorite movie star or super hero.
When you're a teenager it's not only your parents you rebel against, but we fall into peer pressure. We try to be just like our friends or do things to be noticed/liked by others. To add on to that we try to copy what the media shows us as being ideal.
Then when you reach adulthood, you would think you wouldn't be so easily influenced  by the media and peer pressure, but we are. Even as we age we're then influenced by our children, spouses, doctors, and caretakers.
So I agree with cummings. It's hard to define who the self actually is when we are influenced by so many outside sources. Yes, these things mold us into who we are but it's from my experience that figuring out who we are is a never ending journey.

I'm Baaaaaccckkk!!!!

Hello Blogging World!
Sorry I've been MIA. Been kinda busy and really not motivated to do anything. Even blogging with you guys...sad. :(

Anywho I promise I'll have something interesting...or at least interesting to me posted soon. :)

Christians are not perfect. Just forgiven.

I have that saying on a key chain that hangs with my keys. You know, I have friends that are not Christians. The ones who don't go to church. May believe that there's a god, but are not quite sure. Or you know, those one friends who grew up going to church and Sunday school, and confirmation class, but then they grew up and drifted away from that life. Some of those friends may claim to still be Christians but as the old saying goes, "Going to church makes you as much of a Christian as sitting in the garage makes you a car."
I think sometimes people choose not to be Christians because they think they have to give up all their fun and I think they do view Christians as being stuck up....but just like my key chain says we're not perfect and we definitely don't call ourselves that, but we remember that when we do screw up we're forgiven. Now that doesn't mean we should take advantage of that. I strongly dislike the people who think it's okay to live together and have premarital sex. When you know it's wrong, why do you do it?
Another reason people may have a hard time believing is because they're afraid to put their trust in something. I've always had the philosophy though that if some how God doesn't end up being real and when I die I figure that out at least I believed in something and I'd rather believe and have Him not be real than to not believe and come to find that He is real. Probably not a good reason to be a Christian but hey, I'm not perfect. :)

In the words of C.S. Lewis "I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity."

I'm sure there are countless other reasons why people don't believe and I really don't know why I was thinking about this but I just felt the need to write about it. So if this was offensive I apologize and if you didn't like it then don't read it.

Eugene...

Dear Eugene,
I just wanted you to know that Dad has prostate cancer. He should be fine. Thank God! I also wanted you to know again that even though you were probably one of the worst fathers I know, I still forgive you and I wish that you would have been lucky enough to see how well your children grew up, to meet your grandchildren, and to meet your great granddaughter. She's pretty awesome! And not only is Dad a better father than you were now he's making sure that Gracie gets the grandfather that we never had.
I also want to let you know that I agree and understand my friend's reasoning behind reincarnation. I believe that those who have died are reincarnated before they're taken up to Heaven on Judgement Day. I don't know of any place in the Bible saying what happens to us while we wait for Christ to return. I do know that the Bible says that Jesus defeated death and the devil, but is that really true when many people still don't come to know Christ? They still die and the devil wins that person. That's why I believe that God gives those who die not knowing a second chance before Judgement Day so that they can come to know Him. I hope this mostly for your sake.
Despite your awfulness I really wish I had known you.
Love Always,
Elizabeth

Truly Blessed

Last week I realized (and I'm just now getting to write about it. :) ) I am truly blessed. My dad was recently diagnosed with a mild form of prostate cancer and I'll admit, I was pretty upset about it. I mean, come on, it's cancer. Cancer is like the ultimate cuss word that nobody wants to hear. I was also, believe it or not, pissed at my dad because he's the guy who won't do anything about cancer. He never thought he would get it because cancer doesn't run in his family. It's heart problems he has to worry about. That's why he still hasn't gone to get his colonoscopy even though he's 3 years overdue and the doctor told him last year he needed one. I had a little bit of the "serves him right" attitude.
 At first I didn't really have anybody to turn to because my parents didn't want me telling anybody and the rest of my family didn't know. The only reason I knew was because I was with my mom and dad when he received the phone call and after we found out Mom and Dad didn't really talk about it anymore. That's how our family deals with things. We only talk about it when there's been development or it's like super duper important.
However, I did email my block group from school and those who received my email have been very supportive about it and understanding and they have no idea how much I appreciate it. When it was okay to start telling people I told my two best friends. One of them has experienced a parent having cancer. Both of them were supportive and told me that they were there for me. And they definitely have been.
Last week I had to tell a few of my friends  from school that I wouldn't be able to go to our friend's wedding because we didn't know what was going to be going on with my dad yet and once again all of them reassured me of their presence and made sure I knew they would be there for me. :)
Then two days ago I ended up having to tell the couple I'm staying with for my internship (which is so awesome you have no idea! And I'm NOT working with deaf kids. My emphasis is actually more towards psychology now than interpreting. I'm actually not even getting an interpreting degree. I'm getting a deaf studies degree which the degree just without the interpreting classes but without the interpreting class I can't be an interpreter) that Dad had cancer after they asked me about my parents' vacation plans. And I was once again given prayers and comfort. :)
The sad thing is that none of these blessings really hit me until yesterday after I got home from my internship. It was 9:00 at night. I was supposed to be home at 7:00. It's a 2 1/2 hour drive that turned into a 4 1/2 hour drive because of all the storms that there were. What also happened on my way hope which I'm really upset, embarrassed, and grateful for is that when I was about an hour and a half away from home I got pulled over for speeding, right when my mom was calling me too to see where I was (go ahead and laugh I know you want to). Thankfully since I'd never been pulled over before and I think also because he saw how nervous I was by how much my hands were shaking he let me go with a warning. So there it was my worst nightmare. Getting pulled over by a cop and getting caught in storm by myself and my perfect driving record ruined. I was so PISSED you have no idea. I was angry and tired and I just wanted to be home. And the reason I wrote this blog is because I'm still upset about it today, but as I was thinking and really understanding how lucky I was and hope much God was looking after me I realized I truly was blessed not just last night but with my family and friends and my job and my internship opportunity.

P.S. I totally blame my getting pulled over on my co-worker/ case worker Adam because he told me to speed home to beat the storm. :) 

You just might be a Lutheran if...

• You hold your hymnal open for the entire service but never look down at it.
• You think you're paying your pastor too much when he buys a new car after 9 years-I think our church is guilty if that. It was a while before my dad got a new car. :)
• You know church is going to be absolutely packed on Easter Sunday but you show up late anyway-ha, totally guilty of that. And I live right next door which is even sadder. :)
• You're watching Star Wars and when they say, "the force be with you" you reply with "and also with you."-you have no idea how much this makes me laugh. Lutherans are so big on "and also with you."
• J.S. Bach is your favorite composer just because he's Lutheran-dads guilty of that.
• You feel guilty about not feeling guilty-I don't know if I would put it that way or not.
• You actually think the pastors jokes are funny-sometimes, but not really. Pastors have the weirdest sense of humor.
• You dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween-we've never actually done that but I think we talk about it every year. :)
• The only mealtime prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus" and you can say it in one breath.-This is so true. ha, you have no idea how funny this is to me because it's so true. :p
• You believe that there is an 11th Commandment "If it's never been done that way before, don't do it."-once again so true...One thing Lutherans are afraid of is change.
• Your Baptist friends think you're Catholic
• Your Catholic friends think you're Baptist
• You sing "Stand Up, Stand Up For Jesus" while sitting down-bahahaha...this one made me laugh so had.-but I'm not sure if we've actually done this before.
• All your relatives graduated from a school named Concordia-so far only my dad has, but both of the sibs went to a Concordia their freshman year of college.
• You know the different between a "collect" and a "gradual"-I don't even know if we use a gradual.
• You love the new hymnal-yup, I do.
• You hate the new hymnal.
• You make change in the offering plate for a $5 bill-I never have, but that is so us.
• Your idea of a mixed marriage is an ELCA bride and an LCMS groom.-My parents have already told me that if my fiance isn't LCMS he'll have to convert, even if he's ELCA and if he's WELLS I'd probably have to convert.
• Your 47 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Roman Catholic.-haha, so funny! :p
• You know how to say "Melanchthon" in German-nope, I have no idea.
• You hum "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" while mowing the lawn- I do not, but I do hum other hymns like "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing". I wonder if my dad hums hymns...hmm...
• Your LCMS pastor refers to St. Louis as "The Holy City"-haha, no I've never heard it called that...just home.
• When you're agreeing with someone instead of saying "yes, I agree" you say "this is most certainly true"-haha, yes I think I do...we love that phrase. :p
• You and your family of 7 go to a Lenten supper and leave a free will offering of $2.-no never done that
• You go to the Lenten supper at your church and skip the service after the meal-no, that's a no no. 
• Your church uses folding chairs but you call them "pews"-no I call our pews pews.
• Rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church you just check their name in the guest book.-I don't think we use our guest book very much. I just ask Mom or Dad who the people are that I don't know.
• You think the way Calvinists number the commandments is not only incorrect but heretical.-I have no idea what this one means.
• The Sunday church bulletins are 17 pages long.-more like 7 or 8.
• You hold up the line at the end of the service-I don't. I can see my daddy any time. It's everybody else who holds up the line. :p
• You insist on spelling "catholic" with a small c.-nope.
• You know it's wrong to applaud during the service.-very...but I want to so bad.
• You doodle on the back of the communion cards.-no, the bulletin. :p
• Every time something changes, the old way was better.-yup, change bad!
• You have to rope off the last pews so the front ones aren't empty.-nope. My family will always be sitting in the front.
• Your house is a mess because you're saved by grace, not by works.-haha, too funny. We actually have a very clean house. But there are others things we lack because we're saved by grace not by works. 

Those were just for fun. Now on a more serious note...

I decided to do this blog because before coming to Bethel I kinda...pretty much hated...Lutherans, even though I was one. I hated how stuck up we were thinking we were better than everybody else. I hated how little we did for others, unless, of course, they were Lutherans. I hated that we were like robots during worship services not being able to clap. I was kinda excited to be able to go to contemporary worship and try out new churches.

But...then after spending a year and a May term at Bethel I've realized that there are some things that Lutherans are waaaayyy better at. I LOVE that our worship services don't just contain singing, praying, and a message. BORING!!! Plus, I can't listen to a 30-45 minute sermon. My attention span does not last that long. I love that we recite the Apostle's Creed (We're confessing our faith). I love that we have confession and absolution. When we had this "revival" on campus I'm not gonna lie, it didn't affect me, because for me confession is something that I do routinely. I don't need a revival. And then the absolution where you hear the sweet words..."Upon this your confession and in the stead and by the command of my Lord Jesus Christ, I forgive you all your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Ahh...music to my ears! And we have Holy Absolution where we can confess something to your pastor. See, for me, I don't feel the need to confess my sins to everybody, unless that sin involves everybody and I need their forgiveness too. Otherwise it's between me and God. I like that we recite the Lord's Prayer and pray for those in need. I like that before the sermon we read from the Old Testament, Epistle, and the Gospel. And I like that everything else we do in worship comes from Scripture like the Benediction...LOVE the benediction. And you know, some of our hymns are not that bad. We have very good music.

However, there are things that Lutherans (me) lack. Lutherans are not very happy peppy people. That is one thing I liked about the other churches I went to. Everybody was so happy and friendly. I hate that we're so afraid of change. People in our congregation are so picky! I hate that we think other Christians need to be just like us and when they explain their faith it's not right unless you pretty much recite the Apostle's Creed to them. I hate how little we help others. And when we do it's for Lutheran people and it feels like a chore. That's one thing Lutherans definitely have wrong. "That we're saved by grace not by good works cuz that's what Paul says in the Bible." Okay, Lutherans if you know the Bible so well (I really don't know it that well) then try reading James where he says faith is pretty much crap unless you express it through your good deeds. Or like the song states, "Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes they'll know we are Christians by our love." Or in the words of St. Francis, "Preach the Gospel, sometimes use words."

I'm hoping that after this realization I'll be able to come to a happy medium.

To end this...interesting blog I'm gonna copy the Mormon commercials (Cuz I kinda like them and think Lutherans and everybody else should do them):

I'm Elizabeth Troup and I'm a junior Psychology and Deaf Studies major at Bethel College in Indiana. I love psychology because I like learning more about the mind and how it works. I like seeing the effects that different things have on the mind like society and drugs. I think I like it so much because I'm always becoming more convinced of how normal I actually am. And I want to help others see how normal they are too. I want to comfort them by showing them that they're not the only one who's experienced that emotion before. I don't think there is a such thing as normal. We're all so unique but at the same time experience similar things and react in similar ways. God made us all individuals but I believe He put us all on this earth to help each other. Sometimes we need more than the simple fact that God is always with us. We need that hug or hear those words of comfort come out from a person's mouth. I love Deaf Studies and ASL (American Sign Language) because it is something that has been a part of my life since I was in kindergarten and I met a Deaf person for the first time. I love the history of the Deaf culture, the trials they had to go through and how far they have come. The development of ASL is extraordinary. The language is one like no other. It shows much more emotion then words could ever express. Since God didn't give me the gift of a fine singing voice I use my gift of signing to express my emotions along with the music. I absolutely love it! It's almost like acting in a way except you're not actually acting. When school starts to get to me or my family is stressing me out I know that I can always find refuge in the pages of a book, a pen in my hand, music to my ears, dance, or a classic romcom. I love reading. I'm  a wannabe writer. I love music especially the lyrics. I'm an amateur dancer. I love movies. I believe you can find a Christian message in just about every novel you read or movie you watch and if not a Christian message than some message that makes you stop and think. I love my family. They're so supportive. I love the fun we have together and the memories we make. I love my niece. She can always put a smile on my face. My name is Elizabeth Troup. I'm a daughter, a sister/sister-in-law, an aunt, a student, and an artist. I love my family, dogs, the arts. I don't care if people pick their noses cuz I do it too. I believe Jesus is my Lord and Savior and I'm a Lutheran.

I apologize if this has offended anybody. These are just my own opinions.

Shelter

During fall semester last year Bethel had Jars of Clay come and perform. The last song they sang was Shelter and I absolutely LOVE this song. So I wanted to share it all with you. I think the message of it is pretty extraordinary.

They aren't actually performing Shelter in this shot. I didn't get one of them singing that song. :)

To all who are looking down
Holding onto hearts still wounding
For those who’ve yet to find it
The places near where love is moving

Cast off the robes you’re wearing
Set aside the names that you’ve been given
May this place of rest in the fold of your journey
Bind you to hope, you will never walk alone

In the shelter of each other, we will live, we will live
In the shelter of each other, we will live, we will live
Your arms are all around us

If our hearts have turned to stone
There is hope, we know the rocks will cry out
And the tears aren’t ours alone
Let them fall into the hands that hold us

Come away from where you’re hiding
Set aside the lies that you’ve been living
May this place of rest in the fold of your journey
Bind you to hope that we will never walk alone

If there is any peace, if there is any hope
We must all believe, our lives are not our own
We all belong
God has given us each other
And we will never walk alone

"The LORD God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."-Genesis 2:18

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of us."

On Saturday and Sunday before coming back up to school I took the train to gma's where my brother and sister-in-law picked me up. And where Tim and Kristen are, there Gracie is also! :)
So since Mommy and Daddy were there to take care of Gracie I didn't get to spend as much time with her. But I did get to witness the love her parents have for her and the love that she has for her parents. It's been great to see how Tim and Kristen handle her and try to make her laugh. They're really great parents and it's been amazing to see my brother...and sister-in-law grow. In their love for each other. In their love for others. In their love for Gracie. In their love for God. And a growth in wisdom.
Now, this blog wasn't totally meant to praise my brother and sister-in-law. What I really wanted to say is that Gracie's laughter is so cute and contagious!
Tim was throwing her up in the air on Sunday afternoon and she was so happy and laughing hysterically. Kristen was bouncing her on the couch and she was laughing her deep belly laugh. I couldn't help but laugh myself. When I think about Gracie and her smiling and laughter it makes my day.

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of us."

Maundy Thursday

So since I wrote a blog about Valentine's day I thought it would only make sense for me to write about Maundy Thursday too. Not many people know about Maundy Thursday. So here are some quick facts

• Obviously it's the Thursday before Easter
• Has a lot of other names that I'm not gonna list. :)
• Commemorates the Last Supper when Jesus shared the Passover with the disciples.
• The Last Supper happened the night before He was crucified, hence why we celebrate it Thursday, the day before Good Friday-when He was crucified.
• Maundy Thursday's pretty solemn
• We remember His betrayal, the washing of the disciples feet, the breaking of Christ body (the bread) & sharing of His blood (the wine).

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you."-Luke 22:19-20

• So at our church because we are remembering the Last Supper we usually have one last communion service before Easter. It also prepares us for the sad day ahead on Good Friday. Our church service is really cool and after communion we strip the alter and cover everything with black cloth. Then on Good Friday the pastors dress only in black instead of their white robes. Then we read the story of Christ's crucifixion and dim the lights, but then we light a candle in His tomb to remember that there is hope & then the bell tolls & everybody leaves in silence. No greetings. Nothing. It sounds really depressing but I love Holy Week. It's so...beautiful & thought-provoking.
• Maundy comes from the Latin word-mandatum which means-commandment. Maundy Thursday is in reference to Jesus' commands for the disciples at the Last Supper to love and serve one another & to remember Him & what He did for us.

Footage from The Passion of  the Christ.

So I hope you guys learned something and set aside time today to remember Christ & what He did. I know some of you will be busy with family or if you're like me studying for finals next week. Remember what's most important!!!

Collin McCarty

I think this dude is some kind of writer but I found this poem that I really love and really wanted to share it.

"Your presence is a present to the world. You're unique and one of a kind. Your life can be what you want it to be. Take the days just one at a time. Count your blessings, not your troubles. You'll make it through whatever comes along. Within you are so many answers. Understand, have courage, be strong. Don't put limits on yourself. So many dream are waiting to be realized. Decisions are too important to leave to chance. Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets. Don't take things too seriously. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets. Remember that a little love goes a long way. Remember that a lot...goes forever. Remember that friendship is a wise investment. Life's treasures are people...together. Realize that it's never too late. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. Have health and hope and happiness. Take the time to wish upon a star. And don't ever forget...for even a day...how very special you are."

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

True Confessions

Only two days left of finals and I'll be finished as a college  sophomore! It's crazy how fast time flies. It feels like only yesterday I was at my high school graduation and I was so excited about getting away from home and I had my life all planned out. Ha...that was a joke!
Something I learned a while ago that for some reason I keep forgetting is that my plans don't ever work out. But God's plans are perfect.
It's so hard not to rely on your own plans though. Sometimes, when you're waiting for God to tell you what to do it's like, "Come on what's taking so long." You get frustrated and you wonder if God's actually talking to you. If He's actually hearing your worries and concerns. This has probably been my biggest struggle this year.
This year has been so different from my freshman year at MacMurray. I'm still trying to figure out if it's a good different. Last year I mostly struggled with homesickness because of the non-Christian environment and working on my self-love. One thing I never questioned though was God's plan. I felt connected and in control. It got even better when I found Bethel and could feel God telling me that this was where I was supposed to be.
But now, I'm here at Bethel and I don't feel that connection. I sort of feel like I've drawn away from God. I don't feel in control and I feel completely alone. Which I find very strange because I'm in a Christian environment. I'm in that environment that I so desperately craved last year at MacMurray. The professors and students are awesome. I like that professors always make time for prayer in the classroom. I like chapel. I like that my professors know my name. MacMurray had about 600 students and not all of my professors knew my name. That's kind of sad considering Bethel has around 2000 and my professors know my name. Last year my advisor didn't even know who I was! CRAZY!!! But my advisor last year was also very encouraging about my decision to be an interpreting and social work major. Here at Bethel they look at you like you're crazy if you want to do interpreting and psychology and don't really recommend it. Despite all this...it still feels like something is missing. I like it here at Bethel. There's just something...different I guess going on.

Since I don't want to leave this on a sad note I'm going to make a list (I love lists) of the things I have learned and enjoyed from this year.
1. I've learned the importance of family. And not just my mom, but EVERYBODY!
2. I've learned the many differences of Lutherans & everybody else. What our strengths are & what we lack. This kind of explains some of my feelings listed above.
3. I now appreciate the concept of a clean house/bedroom/whatever.
4. Last year at MacMurray really wasn't so bad, but I still would not go back there.
5. People care more than you think they do. There are times where you wonder if your efforts & thoughts are even considered.
6. I'm kind of ignorant.
7. Writing is so beneficial to one's health, but having to write a lot for school kind of diminishes that desire to write.
8. Baths are very beneficial to one's health too.
9. It really does help to have connections.
10. Growing up is hard! Figuring out what's really worth putting in effort is even harder.

But in the words of e.e. cummings-"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

In case you can't read the picture it says there's always hope.

I had to add this for a little humor. :)

Pictures

As I promised...
Here are some pictures of Grace's baptism. Though I'm sure most of you have seen them, but I'm gonna post them anyway.

Proud Grampy and parents

Her baptism outfit

"I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."

Getting ready

Her new sunglasses from Aunt Tina

Putting on her sweater.

Me and my Love.

I love the look on her face.

She looks bored in this one.

Some fun.

Edited one of GiGi Troup

Oh I miss my Gracie so much! I can't wait to see more of her this summer. I can't believe she's already 4 months old! I probably sound like a broken record but I cannot believe how much I love her. So far she has been my greatest blessing.

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers, in speech, in love, in faith, and in purity."-1 Timothy 4:12

I already see this in her. :)