So you would think by now that I would learn not to give up on studying and doing my work because every time I get that final grade back and it's not what I want it to be I get angry and blame myself because I should have worked harder. Yup, you would think I would learn to stay motivated because of the awful feelings I get as consequences but I don't. It's like when I go to Tequilas. I know later I'll regret eating all those chips and salsa but I stuff my face with it anyway...then I get a tummy ache later and can't fall asleep. Then I get angry when I gain 5 pounds because I ate all that and had no motivation to exercise and even the 5 pounds I gained is not enough motivation to get me moving...man.
You know what makes those feelings even worse? I always feel so confident in my abilities and feel comfortable with the material. Then I get that grade and it's like...nope sorry you fail. That's why I don't really see the point in being positive or confident. It hurts more to have your hopes up and have them crushed then to not hope at all. But the pain from the latter usually last longer, but the pain from the first hurts more.
Ok, I think I'm done being negative now and getting my feelings out.
Over break I only plan on eating
GOOD food,
no more D.C. please, sleeping in a nice
big bed, playing with my puppy, reading books, and writing novels, spending time with my family and friends, and having a wonderful Christmas without worrying about school besides getting my books...
After you allow me to do that I promise I'll come back Professors and work my butt off in your classes.
Sincerely,
Liz
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