Giving Thanks

So..yesterday at my Bible Study called Diamonds we were asked what we were thankful for. So many of them had really good answers. By that I mean, yeah, they may have said something totally overstated like family, but they individualized it. They explained why they were thankful for their family. Something I never think to do. When my family goes around and says what they're thankful for it's usually a one-word response like "family" or "food." It made me embarrassed to even give a response.

I was also embarrassed because I've been in a negative Nancy mood. Like, yeah, I'm thankful that I'm here at Bethel, but I feel like last year my relationship with God was so much stronger and I was more in tune with our relationship, now, I'm just kinda, dumbfounded. I know He's there and I like that I go to chapel 3 days a week and that I have Christian friends and professors and that we are open to talk about our faith, but I feel like a liar, just talking the talk and not actually walking the walk when it comes to my faith. I also you know read my Bible and stuff but it's not a leisure activity anymore. It's more of a chore. I don't even know what emotion you would call what I'm feeling. Confusion. Doubt. Boredom. I have no idea. I guess since last year was so rough for me I was actively seeking out God, this year, since I'm already surrounded my Christians and His Word I guess I don't think that I should be having any problems or that I don't need to seek God out. But I do. I really do.

Sometimes I think there is such a thing as too much church. Too much praying. Too much reading. I think when you actively do those things everyday and you're not used to it it can become overwhelming. You kind of feel like you can't be yourself. Because a part of who you are is not a Christ-like example. So you feel like you have to change every ounce of your being. You also feel like you should be happy all the time and that all the problems you had before will just disappear. No. Life never goes away. So you need to learn to make the best of it. For me, that's TRYING to keep a positive attitude. Keeping my family close. Keeping God closer. And going  to somebody for help when I need it. Maybe that's another problem I have. That I don't actually tell people when something is bothering me. I'm kinda bad at going and getting help.

So...there are things that I'm thankful for. I just like to state the negative before the positive. :) Before I tell you what I'm thankful for I'm going to tell you what I think I need to work on. Kind of like a New Year's resolution (I know it's not New Years yet. But why does it have to be on New Years?)

1. Be nicer to myself. Accept my faults. Learn not to be so hard on myself.
2. Be open. Not afraid to be myself.
3. Treasure my family more.
4. Treasure my friends more.
5. Build up my relationship with God. View myself and the world as He does.

Now on to what I'm thankful for. :)
1. I'm thankful I've made it another semester through school.
2. I'm thankful for my sister. Our relationship has grown so much and I'm so happy that our relationship is now strong enough for us to go to each other when we need help.
3. I'm always thankful for my parents. They're helping me pay for college. That from them is more than enough. But I'm also thankful for the life that they gave me and how supportive they are.
4. I'm thankful for Tim and Kristen. Seeing them grow together has been a joy and I'm so thankful for the life they are about to bring into this world.
5. I'm thankful that I am at a Christian college where I have classmates who believe in the same things I do and that I feel encouraged by my professors and that I feel comfortable going to them for help.
6. I'm thankful for music because it's a huge tool I use to strengthen my faith.
7. I'm  thankful that ALL my basic needs are met and that I still even receive things that I desire when so many people don't even receive the things they need.
8. This year has made me thankful for the friends I had at school last year. I was lucky to have such a supportive roommate and decent friends. (This year has kinda been the opposite. Good school, but I'm kinda lacking with the friends.) I guess just another way of God strengthening me. :)
9. I'm thankful that the dorms this year had air conditioning! Because I don't like being hot.
10. I'm thankful that I am being challenged with my classes and that even though it's tough at times I know that my education is worth the cost.

I hope you enjoyed my tid bits! :)