Hello All,
So I don't really know what to say or where to start. Recently, while preparing to move back home from Indiana, my mind has just been racing and my emotions seem to be on overdrive. Why, you might ask? Well, so far this year I've learned that home really is where the heart is. And right now my heart is conflicted. There's a part of me that is so excited about going home and being with my family and friends again, starting my internship, going back to zumba classes, helping my BFF plan her wedding and hopefully finding a new job. But then there's another part of me that's sad about leaving Indiana. This place has really been my home for the last 4 years while I was away at school. I've established some really good relationships, some better than at home. I could see myself living in either place, but I wonder, in which place would I be the most happy. Which place would be best to start over? This life I have right now is definitely not what I pictured 4 years ago. Back at home I know I have a place to stay and people who care about me (which I have in Indiana too). I have a routine. I'm not constantly being reminded of all the terrible things that happened these last couple of years. I have opportunities. But when I am at home I'm almost...homesick. When I'm in Indiana I know that if the need were ever to arise I could go back home, my family would be there. But when I'm home (which is in IL by the way), I often worry, what if I never get to go back there again? Some of you IN folks are probably like, why? There's really nothing great about us.
There are really so many things I could do right now.
-Go home, do my internship and study up for the IL state test again, and hopefully get a job interpreting.
-Go home, don't do the internship and just try to find whatever kind of job you can get.
-Stay in IN where I probably won't find an internship or get any kind of interpreting practice and experience, but could maybe try something different.
The problem right now is that I went from truly loving something and believing that I was truly good at it to failing everything that would confirm I was good at it, making me wonder, is this really what I was meant to do or do I need to find something different? If I do need to find something different what should that something different be?
