F.Y.I.

Alright...family...friends...complete strangers...let's get a few things straightened out....
Do you know what I heard all summer?
"You need to get a job."
"Apply for this. Apply for that. Be aggressive."
"Have you found a job yet?" "Did you try this place?"
and complain, complain, complain.

And do you want to know what I've been hearing since I got back (well, before I got back even) to school?
"You need to get a job."
"Here are a couple of places for you to try."
*wink, wink *point, point (MOM)
"Wow, there are a lot of restaurant opportunities here. Try this place"

You know, during my last therapy session for the summer my therapist asked me what my goal was for this year. I said finding a job because people were already giving me crap about it and I was tired of being poor. Of course, he saw right through that and asked if that was really my goal and not someone else's. And you know what? Getting a job is NOT my goal for this school year because honestly folks, believe it or not I don't find money and getting a job the most important thing in the world right now, especially since I'm still in school and classes are just gonna get harder and more time consuming. You would think people would be more considerate towards that kinda thing...but they're not. Sure, it'd be nice to have a job so I can afford basic necessities like prescription refills, gas money, and the chiropractor now and then because until you have experienced what I have you have no right to tell me how to live my life and you have no idea what my needs entitle.
And I know that those of you who have been trying to help me (nagging) are doing just that because you care about me, but until this past summer I have always been able to find a job on my own and you giving me jobs left and right and "helping" me just makes me not want to get a job just to spite you. Awful I know but that's what I do.
And you know what I find rather funny? Those couple of years where I actually had good jobs my parents still paid for a lot of my stuff and now...with no job, they're telling me to pay for everything and to get a job. Now I know I'm an "adult" now and I'm supposed to take care of myself blah blah blah, but a couple years ago I was more financially stable and probably could care of myself to a degree and could afford to pay for stuff and I'm not now. Seems a little backwards to me.
But what do I know. I haven't lived as long as some of you have.

So, to sum things up...I don't know what my goal is for this year but it is NOT getting a job. Do not try and "help" me find a job because it just irritates me. If I want help like "hey friend, you should talk me up to your manager at this place" then I will ask for it. I have needs and you have no idea what they are. I want money but if I can't find a job again this year I'm gonna try not to worry about it and if you don't nag on me and just support me I'll be a lot less likely to worry and that will make my life easier. There are more important things to worry about like getting my homework done and...sleeping. 

I also like to complain a lot. :) So please don't take all this too personally.

Addiction

Even after many seasons (are they on 12 now? I have no idea), this dance is still my favorite. Mia Michaels is an excellent choreographer! When she talks about the background of this dance and how she's portraying addiction, I think she's dead-on. We've all experienced wanting something that's not good for us...maybe not to this extent, but whether it be drinking or drugs or food (I'm not gonna tell ya mine :P ) we've all been there. That feeling where we want this thing SO bad because it makes us feel better but ultimately that thing starts to control us and it doesn't feel so good anymore and we want to let go of this addiction, but we can't because we're so drawn to it It's not that we don't want to stop, it's just that we can't. We don't know anything else but that addiction and we're afraid to not have that crutch to get us through life.....

Whelp, that's my schpeal for today.

Oh...And the song Gravity goes so well for this dance. :)

Oh the Joys of an Unemployed College Student

Whelp, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Sorry to all my loyal followers out there who really give a damn about what I have to say, but my life over the summer hasn't really been that interesting.
-As I predicted I've got no job this summer. My mom does pay me to clean the house once a week but that money goes by too fast.
-Finished a couple of books this summer, but I can't tell you what they were because I completely forgot. lol.
-At the end of June my mom and I went to go visit my grandma in MICH. That is never a pleasant trip. My grandma has cognitive problems so that's annoying enough, but when you add in her critical, no filture, pity me, complaining personality she becomes unbearable. So that wasn't any fun, besides spending a day up at school visiting Rachel for the day. :)
-Throughout the summer I've been addicted to the T.V. shows Drop Dead Diva, Law & Order S.V.U., and Veronica Mars. (That's what I spend the majority of my days doing, watching T.V.)
-And my family just got back from an Eastern Carribean cruise that our grandma paid for all of us to go to. It was a fun experience since I've never been on one again and it was nice to have something to do and to spend time with my family, but I hate traveling and I am definitely too claustrophobic for cruises. Hopefully the next vacation I go on I will have choosen and paid for.

There's been other things going on this summer  but it's none of y'alls business. :P So as I said my summer's been pretty boring, but in just under a month I'll be going back to school and be one step closer towards graduating. Yay! It's gonna be so scary and stressful but I'm really looking forward to classes and seeing my friends again. :)

"Give Me Some Hope To Follow And I Will Run"

Well this semester has flown by...and it has been CRAZY!!! I'm so glad that by tomorrow night it'll be over, but you know what's sad? I have absolutely no desire to go home...which is crazy because usually I can't wait to go home. AWWW!!!! What's wrong with me!!! JK!
Thing is, I feel like I have nothing to look forward to when I get home (besides the cruise that I'll be going on in July, but that's not til July! What am I gonna do til then?)
See, last summer I had a babysitting job lined up so I knew I'd be good with money, I had an internship lined up for most of the summer so I'd have some school work to do and I'd actually be doing something with my time (unlike when I babysit...maha!), and I knew that I'd be getting my wisdom teeth out (not so much fun, but at least for that I didn't feel bad being lazy). This summer...NOTHING.
 My days will probably consist of me sleeping then job searching and applying for jobs. Which it will probably be next to impossible to find a job since nobody wants to hire a college student just for the summer, but you know what, if you ask me that's a pretty good way to do it, hire a college student when they're home. That way if they suck at the job you only have to deal with them for like 4 months at the most and if you like them, they'll be back for breaks and again in the summer time and then you can hire them permanently when they finish school...sounds like a perfect plan to me....Anywho...
I'm tellin' ya, I don't know how women "WAAAAYYYY back in the day" used to do it. How could they just sit at home and do nothing? Sure some had to actually take care of the house and their children but what about all those lazy rich people who had maids to do their chores and a nurse/nanny/governess to watch their kids? That's what my life is gonna be like this summer because I have no husband/beau/boyfriend/whatever you call it or children and I have no job so I'll be sitting at home doing nothing just like them...talk about pathetic. Gets me thinking about the verse from my last blog from Ecclesiastes about how everything is meaningless...what purpose does sitting at home reading all day or whatever else those women used to do, have? What purpose does my summer have?

Serious
 Funny, gotta have both in life.


"Give me some hope to follow and I will run."-Jarrod Gorbel, featured on one of the new TWLOHA T-shirts.

Everything is Meaningless

You know, I love that the Bible says this...Everything is Meaningless...of course, it's talking about a life without God is meaningless, I still like that it says that. :)
Who would have thought that the book of Ecclesiastes could be so entertaining. So the purpose of this whole book is to show that, yes, wisdom is important, but human wisdom has it's limits. God alone knows the purpose of life. Throughout the book the author sees people laboring and trying to get to the top. Pursuing mearningless hopes and dreams. However, our role in this world is to accept things according to God's purpose and to pretty much be patient and enjoy life as God gives it to us. Sounds like an easy job to me...not! Why? Because these days people are obsessed with time, money, success, and blahbady blah blah crap that in the end isn't gonna matter...
Only God can satisfy.

"Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return."-Ecclesiastes 3:19-20

Two more points: That verse kinda makes it sound like animals are gonna be in Heaven. Why does the Bible have to be so large. Everything is meaningless but we're supposed to work at it with all our heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. But if work is meaningless why do we need to work. The Bible is so confused. That's why people don't read it...just saying...

Hmmm...

You know how Catholics are known for being alcoholics? I think I know why now. In the Catholic (and some Lutheran churches) church after they finish with communion it is customary for the priest (pastor) to drink whatever wine is left over. (Sometimes that can be quite a bit of wine). I can understand that if you drink a lot of that and you do that at least once a week you could get quite a bit of wine in your system. However, they do this because they have already blessed the wine and it is now Christ's blood (shed for you for the forgiveness of sin. This do as often as you drink it in remembrance of me). Sorry couldn't help myself. But what I don't understand is, you know, they don't want to be wasteful and Christ's blood is important, but if you're gonna drink the wine (blood) wouldn't you want to eat the bread (body) too, it's just as important. Can't have the blood without the body.

This is my prayer for every year

Happy (belated) New Year. I hope everybody's 2011's were awesome and best wishes for your 2012.

2011 was a pretty good year I must say. A year of a lot of firsts and I definitely got to cross some things off my bucket list. Here are a few.

-first time driving by myself to St. Louis.
-first time as an aunt of a 1 year old.
-first internship (which was an awesome experience).
-first time watching Panic Room (a good movie, but not a good one to watch when it's dark outside).
-first time taking a summer (May) term class.
-first time going to the chiropractor (I think I'm addicted to going to the chiropractor. love them).
-first time having a car on campus and having to take care of it.

So that was my 2011 in a nutshell, now here's what I hope for 2012.
-witness my niece take her first steps, oh wait, CHECK! :)
-have my first drink (legally) :P
-maybe my first boyfriend. ;) (in God's time)
-lose my sophomore 15 and then some.
-be somewhat financially independent from my parents.
-go and party on a cruise (this summer baby!)
-be a party of a flash mob (pretty please!)
-to sum up a bunch in one simple resolution: Love myself, others, and God

So there you have it....now you all are responsible for making sure these are accomplished this year...jk!
Here's  song that I love and I think sums up what each New Year is about.