WWJD

Something that has stuck with me since coming to the youth gathering is that we are so lucky to have a Savior that died and rose for our forgiveness and that we may have eternal life with Him. However, even though we are forgiven that doesn't mean we go on sinning and taking advantage of God's forgiveness. We owe Him to at least try to be faithful. We are always going to sin but we do have free will, self-control, and common sense. So...we know not to steal, murder, or have sex before marriage. When we experience that temptation use that self-control and common sense. I know for some of you this is a challenge but I'm a 22 year old virgin and I plan to be one til the day I'm married. Do I still face temptation and experience lustful thoughts? Heck yes! But I don't go and throw myself at a guy and say, "Take me now!" To me...sex before marriage is infidelity. I'm cheating on my future husband! Now premarital sex has become the social norm (sadly), but cheating is still looked down upon. So...are you gonna cheat on your future spouse? Or are you gonna base your entire decision on your hormones?

Marriage and sex is a beautiful thing created by God, but only when done appropriately. God was the bridegroom of the church. He took care of His bride. He was understanding, caring, and the perfect example of love.

A Day In The Life

Lately I've been having a hard time figuring out what to write about (sometimes it's just that I'm too much of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing). I've always wanted to write about my college experience and my future career, but unfortunately, just like a doctor or a psychotherapist my Code of Ethics requires that I keep confidentiality and I want to obey that (even though I'm not an interpreter yet). This rule makes it so hard to open up to people sometimes because people often think that sign language is simple and only requires "hands signals" and you're just "talking with your hands". I know that it's never the person's fault for believing this because they don't know any better. Unfortunately, society has not been exposed to the Deaf culture like they should. This makes it difficult to actually explain my career choice too because for me it's simple while for other people they just don't get it.

• Some questions that I've been asked.

1. What's A.S.L.? (American Sign Language) You mean sign language isn't universal? -Seriously, think about it. Is English a universal language? And yes, there are even different sign languages used in the U.S. just like how people speak differently in English people sign differently too.
2. So what can you do with that degree? Is there really a need for that?-Umm, I can pretty much do whatever I want. Wherever there's a deaf person there should be an interpreter.
3. That was so amazing! My *such and such* knows sign language and they use it with their special needs class. Is that what you're gonna do?-Yeah, there's a difference between knowing a few baby signs and actually being fluent in it and being certified to interpret.
4. *hearing person looks at you*, can you ask so and so this?-Just talk to them like you're having a normal conversation. You are going to want to look THEM in the eye.
5. And I'm standing there interpreting....hearing client "Don't sign that."-Umm, sorry you said it I'm gonna sign it. Those be the rules! And after you sign whatever you don't what me to sign I will also sign DON'T SIGN THAT.
6. And the thing that bothers us the most...*you're up signing for a speaker* and the speaker thinks it's funny to say something like "Oh hey, you're doing such a good job. So how do you sign this or this" (usually a word like poop or a cuss word).-Yeeeaahh, this is just rude to the interpreter and don't use us to hold your props or anything either.
7. *after a person finds out you're an interpreter* I don't know if I would like to be deaf. I would miss music too much or what about this or this?-That's nice. Usually this is accompanied by pity towards the deaf person and the idea that they just can't do anything (like drive-they can drive!)
8. Or you have the hearing client who tries to speak louder to the deaf person.-Ummm, they can't hear! Duh!
9. I just love watching you and your hand signals *person waves their hands in your face*-Yeeaahhh, it's called sign language and I'm a sign language interpreter and don't wave your hands at me because that's just rude and annoying.
10. "Can't they just read my lips?" Or "Oh they're deaf, so they have to know sign."-Reading lips is a lot harder than it looks. Can you read lips? Or why don't you just try to read their hands. And just because a person is deaf does not mean they know sign language. They may have grown up orally and can read lips and talk quite well.

And there are many more where that came from. People also tend to think that learning sign language is easy. ABSOLUTELY NOT! Have you ever learned a second language? Have you ever looked at the Linguistics of English let alone the Linguistics of ASL (Although most people don't even know what linguistics is either (the study of language)?

Well, if I haven't made you die from boredom yet here are a few facts about Deaf culture that I think are important and why I sign,

1. "Impaired" means "broken", the deaf are not broken. They prefer to be called "deaf" just "deaf". Not "hearing-impaired" or "deaf and dumb" or "deaf and mute".Deafness is not a disability and deaf people are actually very independent. After all, they've been looked down on all their lives.
2.  Not all deaf people want to hear and when in an environment where both parties use the same language deaf people are just as smart or even smarter than hearing people (yes, even in English).
3. Eye contact and touch are very important to them. So don't freak out if they touch you.
4. Honestly, I did go into interpreting because I wanted to "help" people (the deaf don't like that word). However, I wanted to help people understand each other not help them overcome this big "obstacle" or "disability" I wanted people to be heard and have equal access to communication.
5. Contrary to popular belief an interpreter works for the deaf client and the hearing client.
6. I also went into interpreting because of all the different jobs I could have. I like the idea that I really am making a difference. I'm the one who helps save a person's life after a car crash. I bring justice to the abused victim. I console the daughter who's watching her mother die. I get to be a part of critical moments in a person's life. To me, that's important. To be a part of somebody's life, a part of their life worth remembering.

1 Corinthians 14:10-12
"Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world., yet none of them is without meaning. If then I do not grasp the meaning of what someone is saying, I am a foreigner to the speaker, and he is a foreigner to me. So it is with you. Since you are eater to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church."

*Insert creative title here* :)

Seeing as how it's been a while since I've blogged (and I'm sure you are all so devastated by it :) ) I thought now might be a good time to look back and reflect on the school year. I can't believe this year is almost over! Next year I'll be a senior and will be on practicum (fingers crossed ;) ). What am I gonna do after I graduate? I can't call my blog Confessions of a College Student. :)
This year has been pretty good compared to others. You're finally to that point where you really click with people (if you're socially slow like me :) ) and feel more like yourself. I finally figured out what all to do with the waste of credits I have and finally feel like I'm where I should be. Do I still worry everyday that I'm gonna flunk out of the interpreting program and have to try to find something else to do? Yes, but that's only because you have no idea how intense the program is. Bethel is like the Yale of interpreting. :) But I finally feel confident in my decision of being an interpreter.
So everything has worked out for me in that department, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, I don't feel satisfied. I'm still not comfortable in my own skin and I know there are characteristics that I need to work on, and I want to work on them, but you have that bad, sinful part of you that says, "you can do that later." Before you know your head is spinning and you have no idea what you're going to do. I was really hoping  that would get better this year. Instead of people looking at me and either pitying me or thinking I'm mean (which really just means they're annoyed by you :) ) I want to be one of those people that just makes someone's day and be someone they'll remember for their kindness/good personality ;).
I know some of you (actually probably most of you) are thinking, "well, umm...you can do that. Just do it. You wanna change then go for it. Nobody else can do it for you. That's what tomorrows are for." All of these statements are true and are good advice, but for some people (and I'm not trying to make excuses :) ) it's more complicated then that. They can't just instantly drop who they are/have been and be who they want to be. It takes time, patience, faith, and searching. One of the hardest lessons you'll ever have to learn in life is how to accept who you are but at the same time improve who you are, and I have quickly learned that it's a lot easier said then done. I've also learned that it's important to remember that bad things happen and people are bad/stupid/whatever because there is sin in the world and I can't change that. On this earth there's no such thing as perfect.
Even though I've taken notice of these issues and maybe (hopefully :) ) sound like I know what I'm talking about, sometimes all I want to do is get my degree, get a job, move away from family and friends and start my life over again. When you're in college and are still financially dependent on your parents it's hard to lead your own life while still satisfying theirs. Sometimes I feel like I'm never really gonna know who I am until I graduate and move out.
So that's what I wish I could have done over again. But it's all in God's time.

I don't want this blog to seem too serious, the smiley faces are really me smiling/laughing because I'm trying to virtually lighten the mood. :)

Just A Thought

"Sometimes it's better to be alone. Nobody can hurt you."-Meg (Hercules)

An interesting theory/philosophy and I'd say one that I agree with, but, honestly, I avoid people because I don't want to hurt them. If you avoid people you don't have to worry about accidentally offending somebody or yelling at them because of something stupid they did and then in the end feeling hurt and stupid yourself. So when you are alone, really, nobody can hurt you.
 When nobody knows who you are it's impossible to hurt them. Though, sometimes you ultimately end up hurting yourself. You put those hateful thoughts into your own head and you bring yourself down. All those mistakes you've made and the person you are, nobody knows what that's like. So why bother trying to explain it to them? Besides, after you've revealed those secrets to them they might end up leaving you anyway. Unfortunately, in our society today people are quicker to be angry than to forgive (I'm definitely guilty of this too) when it should really be the other way around. But, being slow to anger and quick to forgive is something we must do for ourselves, not just for others....
It's hard to know sometimes who you can trust and who to put your faith in. It's hard to know if you should be honest with a person when they ask, "How are you doing?" Do they really care or are they just trying to be polite? That's why God created the "fine" emotion. When you say, "I'm fine," usually what it really means is, "My life sucks right now! But I know there are other people who have it worse than me so I don't want to complain or have you pity me. Things could always be worse."

What does this mean?

hy·poc·ri·sy  (h-pkr-s)

n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.

2. An act or instance of such falseness.

two-faced (tfst)

adj.

1. Having two faces or surfaces.

2. Hypocritical or double-dealing; deceitful

Oy Vey, I've heard these 2 words so many times this week and lemme tell ya, I'm sick of it. Do you people even know what those words mean? Apparently not.

Let's look at hypocrisy and the first definition for a moment, "The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess." Well, I'm no expert but if you ask me it kinda sounds like all human beings, all Christians are guilty of this. Am I right or am I right?

That is what we call sin ladies and gents. Yup, no matter how pure I wanna be and even if I save myself for marriage I've still committed adultery over a dozen times (hello, have you seen Johnny Depp hotchacha!). And even if I have never intentionally set out to kill somebody, I've already committed murder too. Yeah, all those people that I find annoying, sorry I just murdered you.

I don't condone this behavior but yet I still commit it. I even know it's wrong when I do it. Does that make me a hypocrite? According to this definition it does.

Now let's look at two-faced. It pretty much means the same thing as hypocrisy but if you look at the first definition, that meaning could easily go many ways. When  I read it I see someone who acts one way with someone and then goes and acts completely different with another person. Again, all Christians are guilty of this. And not just because of sin but....because the brain and emotions and people are just complicated. Each person you meet is gonna bring something out in you that another does not. And each person has their own story. Their own struggles. Their own hurts. This makes it impossible for us to stay as we are 24/7 for 365 days.

Hypocrisy was something that I struggled with a lot when I was younger. Meaning that I would judge people unfairly and call them hypocrites. I've recently learned that I don't have any right to judge somebody and to give them that label because I'm guilty of it too, and it's not my job to judge.

So, please, next time somebody pisses you off and you really wanna accuse someone of being a hypocrite or two-faced, take a long hard look at yourself and remember...you're one too and calling them that isn't going to change anything.

Now Not Later

While I was trying to beautify my blog (BTW, let me know what you think of the new look) and I was going through old posts I decided that maybe it was time (AT LAST) to look back on 2012 and see what 2013 will bring.

My 2012 in a nutshell.

If you're friends with me on pinterest you are probably aware that I have a board called "My Life Complete." Everything that had been on my bucket list that had come true I moved over to that board. Here are a few I was able to move...

1.    Technically I finished up all of my ASL classes back in 2011-2012, but this year I also completed my first semester of interpreting classes.....and passed! When you're in the interpreting program here at Bethel everyday is a challenge (think America's Next Top Model, except the goal is to get more than one winner :P ). Bethel is like the Harvard of interpreting.
2.  This was the excursion I chose to do during our family cruise this summer. I think it's something everybody should try in their lifetime. Very interesting creatures.
3.  Yes, Yes, I know that I've been living in a dorm room since 2009/2010. But I'm still here.

4.  Yes, that's what I did for my 21st birthday. It was awesome and I still have no regrets. :)




5.  AGAIN! Whoot! Avery Olivia...proud aunt and godmother right here!
6. Yeah, part of the excursion was getting to ride them too...ski style.
7. First one ever and got to go with the whole family! Grandma's are the best....especially mine. :)
8. I'm sure there are countless others that I could name too. Like I sort of mentioned before...with Avery I'm her godmother, so that was a first. However, Avery, I'm not crafty enough to make you a car out of a pumpkin. :) But I could maybe make you a dress. :)
9. I FINALLY got to bring the mini van to school with me...which was nice and not so much. Yes, I know, cars take a lot of money. This also included driving myself home...really not that bad.
10. I interpreted in chapel for the first time....scariest thing ever....our first goal is always not to pass out, puke, or run off the stage...I made it....but it was hard.
11. I also drank legally for the first time. A drink every now and then is nice. :)

Hmmm...I can't really think of anything more...got any?

Now for 2013 here are my expectations: So many to choose from!!!

1. My friends I'm sure you know who I'm talking about here....and if you don't, too bad, I'm not telling you anyway. :P
2.  I know this is all in God's time. If I can't have this this year at least give me some patience then.
3.  Pretty self-explanatory.
4.  This one is too.
5.  I don't think I've had hair this long since....ever.
6. Only in my dreams. :)
7. And do it in a healthy way.
8. If I can teach myself how to French braid, I can teach myself how to waterfall braid.
9. This goes with #5.
10. Don't judge me!
11. If anybody else wants to do this they should let me know. :)
12. And this year the biggest one will be passing my classes and making it through all of chapel and not just the worship part. :)

Well, That's pretty much it. I could go on...but...I gotta have some secrets. :P The challenge is to live in the now and concentrate on what I'm doing now and not later. So don't ask me what I want to do after graduation. :)

In the Midst of Tragedy....

It's hard to understand the reasoning behind God's actions, especially in the midst of tragedy. When tragedy strikes there are always questions. "Why did this happen?" "Why this person?" "What caused this?" "What can I do?" "Where was God in all this?" "How will I cope?"

All these questions are natural. Sadly, however, so is tragedy. Sadness is a normal part of life.

"The word 'happiness' would lose its meaning if it were  not balanced by sadness."-Carl Gustav Jung

However, I'm a strong believer in that God has a lesson or perhaps a reminder, in mind for anything that happens. In celebration? Yes. And yes, even in tragedy. I think we are all pretty aware though that sometimes it's hard to know what those lessons are, especially when they come from tragedy. Sometimes that is out of our own stubbornness/ignorance and sometimes it can be unclear.

The tragedies I have witnessed I have been reminded of how awful and evil the world is, but how through all of it God is there never leaving or forsaking us. I have learned how important forgiveness is. I have learned how hard forgiveness can be, and I admire those who forgive people who least deserve it. I'm reminded of how important people are and why God didn't just stop after Adam and I've learned that anybody can be a hero. I've been reminded to remember those heroes and not to take them for granted. I've learned to love and be thankful especially for parents, siblings, friends, classmates, co-workers,aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandparents, teachers, pastors, police, firefighters, paramedics, doctors, nurses, children, and students. They have inspired me to be a hero because anybody can be one. I've learned to laugh and hug more, but also that it's okay to cry and get angry too.

I've learned that a tragedy is really a wonderful opportunity to do God's work. It's an opportunity for someone to earn their badge (or wings or gold star...whatever you want to call it, as long as you get the metaphor) and to be honored for their bravery. It's an opportunity to give thanks and remember. It's a time to come together to rejoice and celebrate a person's final homecoming and to see their joy and excitement as they enter.

I'm also reminded that these lessons and reminders should go beyond tragedy. We shouldn't have to wait for tragedy to be a hero or to hug our children. Live everyday as if it were a tragedy because...

"A tragedy need not have blood and death; it's enough that it all will be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy."-Jean Racine

The minute life stops being treated as a tragedy is the minute a new one begins. So continue your forgiving, remembering, celebrating, and thanking.