18 Lessons

It's always been a tradition of mine that every time my brother and sister-in-law find out that they're having a baby, I write a blog to that baby, telling them everything I wish for them to know. It's changed a little bit with each baby, but the main points have mostly stayed the same.
However, it is not my brother and sister-in-law this time who are having a baby. My sister and brother-in-law finally announced to everybody today that they were expecting. So without further ado...

1. This has, and continues to be my #1...YOU are oh so VERY LOVED!!! Even when you think that life's messing up and that you're alone always remember that me, your family, your friends, that God...Loves You!

2. "Inhale grace, Exhale gratitude."- Dr. Scott Johnson (Receive thankfully, and give graciously). I truly believe that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus, and not by good works, but I also believe that the least we can do for God, is try to be the best that we can be. This can be tied in to #6. :)

3. "We cannot change our past. But we CAN learn to see our past through GOD'S perspective." -Charles R. Swindoll. Remember that nobody is perfect and that God loves you despite your mistakes or your past.

4.You are a Unique Child of God and He loves you very much!   "Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of us."-Rabindranath Tagore

5. "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the HARDEST battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."- e.e. cummings. Don't ever change because of somebody else's standards. Change for yourself.

6. "Stop judging people because they sin differently than you." One of the greatest things about the human race is that we are all alike in our sin. We all sin and no sin is greater than another. No matter how a person is treating you, be kind. "Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see, the pain someone feels." Take a chance on them and get to know them. Show them Christ's love.

7. "Wherever you go, go with all your heart."-Confucius. If you have a passion for something don't ever give up on it. Do whatever it takes to bring that passion to life. And if it's meant to be, God will make it happen.

8. "Raise your words, not your voice. It's rain that grows flowers, not thunder."-rumi. Yes, there will be times in life where you get angry and all you want to do is scream, but all that situation does is give you a chance to open up your heart. It's a chance to share YOUR story, which is GOD'S story. DON'T ever be afraid to share that.

9. Don't push people away. "In the shelter of each other we will live....God has given us each other." - Jars of Clay We all like to be alone sometimes, but don't keep people away forever. It's true that if you are alone nobody else can hurt you, but you can end up hurting yourself.

10. "Jesus, help me to see that I AM someone worth dying for" You are a Unique Child of God and He Loves you very much. Your life matters. It's what has kept me here. We all have experienced doubts. Doubts about whether the people we care about really love us. Whether God really loves us. Whether things will actually get better. Doubts are the devil's way of pulling you away from God. So during those doubts draw closer to God.

11. Take pride in your accomplishments and celebrate every achievement...even the smallest ones.

12. "Know who you are. Accept who you are. Be who you are."-Dietrich Bonhoeffer You have got to do this for yourself before you can expect anybody else to do it.

13. "Being rich in money and things doesn't last. Being rich in the Lord and people last forever."-Grampy Troup

14. God never answers "No"

15. The GREATEST gift you can give a person is your time. So one day when you're all grown up and your mom is grumbling about how she never gets to spend anytime with you because you're always so busy, do her a favor (and yourself) and sit down next to her and tell about your day. Ask her how her day went. Some of the greatest moments you'll have in life are small ones like that.

16. Listen to and obey your parents. They love you and most of the time the advice they give you is pretty legit.

17. "One of the GREATEST adventures you can take is to your own imagination." Read books. Watch the history channel. Go to a museum. Be a part of a play. An opportunity to learn and exercise your imagination is never time spent wasted.

18. Be proud of where you've come from and embrace it.

There you go Baby Benesh. 18 lessons that I hope you learn (but it's okay if you don't learn them all in 18 years. :) I promise it's not a bad thing).

If my siblings keep this up I'm gonna be screwed if/ when I start having kids. But that just means they'll owe me big time. :)

Tuesday's Tunes

Here's 12/16/14 car shuffle.

1. Supermassive Black Hole-Muse

2. Today Was A Fairytale-Taylor Swift

3. Why Not-Hilary Duff

4. Black or White-Michael Jackson

5. Rolling in the Deep-ADELE

6. By Your Side-Tenth Avenue North

7. Black Widow-Iggy Azalea feat. Rita Ora

8. Do Something-Matthew West

9. Good to Be Alive-Jason Gray

10. Rolling in the Deep-Glee

Maybe It Doesn't Have to End

Well, hello all,
Surprised to hear from me? I'm sure you are. :) So tonight while watching Blue Bloods on T.V. (more like just using it for background noise) and checking my facebook one last time before bed I started to think about blogging and actually asked myself, why did I stop? To be blunt, I stopped because life was going awesomely (yes, I did say awesomely) and I didn't feel the need to blog anymore. Of course receiving crappy news like I did today will make you feel kinda crabby.
***Oh snap somebody just got shot! Sorry...I got distracted by the T.V. My mom doesn't like that I spend a lot of time watching crime T.V. but hey, I like drama and one of my concentrations in school was Criminal Justice. Although, real life is nothing like T.V...
Annnyyway. Sorry I got off topic.
So yeah while I'm feeling crappy and crabby it really made me want to blog again so I logged on to my account...
***Excuse me someone was stabbed not shot. Sure looked like a shot one to me...that's why I just watch the investigating...sorry, again.
So I logged on to my account and while I'm scrolling through my old posts my memories come back of what was going on while I wrote that blog. Truth is that there are many happy...and not so happy posts. I really shouldn't have stopped. I forgot how therapeutic blogging can be. And I feel like there's so much that I need to catch you guys up on. :)
But right now it's getting late and I should really get to bed. Busy day tomorrow, being a grown up and all. :)

Oh, and since I'm finished with college, I'm considering renaming my blog. Any suggestions?

Be on  the look out for future posts. :)

The end of an era

Well, blog world, it's the end of an era. Though I have this last semester to go before I'm finished with college I have a feeling it's going to go by pretty quickly. Now, I've been in a little bit of a funk when it comes to my blogging life. I just can't seem to think of anything interesting to post on here anymore. Since my blog is called "Confessions of a College Student" I've decided that perhaps it is time to say good-bye to my blog. I know you all will be so terribly heart-broken ;) by this decision, but I haven't been posting much anyway. I'll miss you all!

Just A Thought

"Sometimes it's better to be alone. Nobody can hurt you."-Meg (Hercules)

An interesting theory/philosophy and I'd say one that I agree with, but, honestly, I avoid people because I don't want to hurt them. If you avoid people you don't have to worry about accidentally offending somebody or yelling at them because of something stupid they did and then in the end feeling hurt and stupid yourself. So when you are alone, really, nobody can hurt you.
 When nobody knows who you are it's impossible to hurt them. Though, sometimes you ultimately end up hurting yourself. You put those hateful thoughts into your own head and you bring yourself down. All those mistakes you've made and the person you are, nobody knows what that's like. So why bother trying to explain it to them? Besides, after you've revealed those secrets to them they might end up leaving you anyway. Unfortunately, in our society today people are quicker to be angry than to forgive (I'm definitely guilty of this too) when it should really be the other way around. But, being slow to anger and quick to forgive is something we must do for ourselves, not just for others....
It's hard to know sometimes who you can trust and who to put your faith in. It's hard to know if you should be honest with a person when they ask, "How are you doing?" Do they really care or are they just trying to be polite? That's why God created the "fine" emotion. When you say, "I'm fine," usually what it really means is, "My life sucks right now! But I know there are other people who have it worse than me so I don't want to complain or have you pity me. Things could always be worse."

Now Not Later

While I was trying to beautify my blog (BTW, let me know what you think of the new look) and I was going through old posts I decided that maybe it was time (AT LAST) to look back on 2012 and see what 2013 will bring.

My 2012 in a nutshell.

If you're friends with me on pinterest you are probably aware that I have a board called "My Life Complete." Everything that had been on my bucket list that had come true I moved over to that board. Here are a few I was able to move...

1.    Technically I finished up all of my ASL classes back in 2011-2012, but this year I also completed my first semester of interpreting classes.....and passed! When you're in the interpreting program here at Bethel everyday is a challenge (think America's Next Top Model, except the goal is to get more than one winner :P ). Bethel is like the Harvard of interpreting.
2.  This was the excursion I chose to do during our family cruise this summer. I think it's something everybody should try in their lifetime. Very interesting creatures.
3.  Yes, Yes, I know that I've been living in a dorm room since 2009/2010. But I'm still here.

4.  Yes, that's what I did for my 21st birthday. It was awesome and I still have no regrets. :)




5.  AGAIN! Whoot! Avery Olivia...proud aunt and godmother right here!
6. Yeah, part of the excursion was getting to ride them too...ski style.
7. First one ever and got to go with the whole family! Grandma's are the best....especially mine. :)
8. I'm sure there are countless others that I could name too. Like I sort of mentioned before...with Avery I'm her godmother, so that was a first. However, Avery, I'm not crafty enough to make you a car out of a pumpkin. :) But I could maybe make you a dress. :)
9. I FINALLY got to bring the mini van to school with me...which was nice and not so much. Yes, I know, cars take a lot of money. This also included driving myself home...really not that bad.
10. I interpreted in chapel for the first time....scariest thing ever....our first goal is always not to pass out, puke, or run off the stage...I made it....but it was hard.
11. I also drank legally for the first time. A drink every now and then is nice. :)

Hmmm...I can't really think of anything more...got any?

Now for 2013 here are my expectations: So many to choose from!!!

1. My friends I'm sure you know who I'm talking about here....and if you don't, too bad, I'm not telling you anyway. :P
2.  I know this is all in God's time. If I can't have this this year at least give me some patience then.
3.  Pretty self-explanatory.
4.  This one is too.
5.  I don't think I've had hair this long since....ever.
6. Only in my dreams. :)
7. And do it in a healthy way.
8. If I can teach myself how to French braid, I can teach myself how to waterfall braid.
9. This goes with #5.
10. Don't judge me!
11. If anybody else wants to do this they should let me know. :)
12. And this year the biggest one will be passing my classes and making it through all of chapel and not just the worship part. :)

Well, That's pretty much it. I could go on...but...I gotta have some secrets. :P The challenge is to live in the now and concentrate on what I'm doing now and not later. So don't ask me what I want to do after graduation. :)

Addiction

Even after many seasons (are they on 12 now? I have no idea), this dance is still my favorite. Mia Michaels is an excellent choreographer! When she talks about the background of this dance and how she's portraying addiction, I think she's dead-on. We've all experienced wanting something that's not good for us...maybe not to this extent, but whether it be drinking or drugs or food (I'm not gonna tell ya mine :P ) we've all been there. That feeling where we want this thing SO bad because it makes us feel better but ultimately that thing starts to control us and it doesn't feel so good anymore and we want to let go of this addiction, but we can't because we're so drawn to it It's not that we don't want to stop, it's just that we can't. We don't know anything else but that addiction and we're afraid to not have that crutch to get us through life.....

Whelp, that's my schpeal for today.

Oh...And the song Gravity goes so well for this dance. :)

Your love your love is my drug...

I just want to start off by saying how much I love my big sissy and our crazy craziness & the awesome talks we have about life.

Anywho...today I wanted to talk about how my mom mentioned that blogging for me was like therapy, which it pretty much is and I love it! I can use it whenever I want and it doesn't cost me anything. :) but seeing a therapist is totally cool! :) I've been to 3 different ones and I loved them ( and not just because of the drugs they gave me :) ) but because it totally helped to have somebody to talk to and share those dreaded secrets you can't share with anybody else. Plus when they point out all your flaws (which nobody likes) you realize how right they are and they give you the right tools and teach you to better yourself and eventually you won't need them anymore...usually. If you work at it. A lot of my therapists had me do some kind of journaling which I found really helpful but it was just exhausting trying to find the time to do it. That's why I love blogging. I can do it whenever I need to. And I'll probably still need to see a therapist every once in a while but, you know, anxiety and depression and other things that don't seem like such a big deal really are. Which is why you should never be afraid to ask for help. That's something I still struggle with but getting better at. :)

Also, if you're thinking about a career in counseling, I recommend that you go at least once and get a feel for it, and learn a few tricks you can use with your patients someday. :)

*I just realized how much I use the word "totally" :p

I'm Baaaaaccckkk!!!!

Hello Blogging World!
Sorry I've been MIA. Been kinda busy and really not motivated to do anything. Even blogging with you guys...sad. :(

Anywho I promise I'll have something interesting...or at least interesting to me posted soon. :)