18 Lessons

It's always been a tradition of mine that every time my brother and sister-in-law find out that they're having a baby, I write a blog to that baby, telling them everything I wish for them to know. It's changed a little bit with each baby, but the main points have mostly stayed the same.
However, it is not my brother and sister-in-law this time who are having a baby. My sister and brother-in-law finally announced to everybody today that they were expecting. So without further ado...

1. This has, and continues to be my #1...YOU are oh so VERY LOVED!!! Even when you think that life's messing up and that you're alone always remember that me, your family, your friends, that God...Loves You!

2. "Inhale grace, Exhale gratitude."- Dr. Scott Johnson (Receive thankfully, and give graciously). I truly believe that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus, and not by good works, but I also believe that the least we can do for God, is try to be the best that we can be. This can be tied in to #6. :)

3. "We cannot change our past. But we CAN learn to see our past through GOD'S perspective." -Charles R. Swindoll. Remember that nobody is perfect and that God loves you despite your mistakes or your past.

4.You are a Unique Child of God and He loves you very much!   "Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of us."-Rabindranath Tagore

5. "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the HARDEST battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."- e.e. cummings. Don't ever change because of somebody else's standards. Change for yourself.

6. "Stop judging people because they sin differently than you." One of the greatest things about the human race is that we are all alike in our sin. We all sin and no sin is greater than another. No matter how a person is treating you, be kind. "Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see, the pain someone feels." Take a chance on them and get to know them. Show them Christ's love.

7. "Wherever you go, go with all your heart."-Confucius. If you have a passion for something don't ever give up on it. Do whatever it takes to bring that passion to life. And if it's meant to be, God will make it happen.

8. "Raise your words, not your voice. It's rain that grows flowers, not thunder."-rumi. Yes, there will be times in life where you get angry and all you want to do is scream, but all that situation does is give you a chance to open up your heart. It's a chance to share YOUR story, which is GOD'S story. DON'T ever be afraid to share that.

9. Don't push people away. "In the shelter of each other we will live....God has given us each other." - Jars of Clay We all like to be alone sometimes, but don't keep people away forever. It's true that if you are alone nobody else can hurt you, but you can end up hurting yourself.

10. "Jesus, help me to see that I AM someone worth dying for" You are a Unique Child of God and He Loves you very much. Your life matters. It's what has kept me here. We all have experienced doubts. Doubts about whether the people we care about really love us. Whether God really loves us. Whether things will actually get better. Doubts are the devil's way of pulling you away from God. So during those doubts draw closer to God.

11. Take pride in your accomplishments and celebrate every achievement...even the smallest ones.

12. "Know who you are. Accept who you are. Be who you are."-Dietrich Bonhoeffer You have got to do this for yourself before you can expect anybody else to do it.

13. "Being rich in money and things doesn't last. Being rich in the Lord and people last forever."-Grampy Troup

14. God never answers "No"

15. The GREATEST gift you can give a person is your time. So one day when you're all grown up and your mom is grumbling about how she never gets to spend anytime with you because you're always so busy, do her a favor (and yourself) and sit down next to her and tell about your day. Ask her how her day went. Some of the greatest moments you'll have in life are small ones like that.

16. Listen to and obey your parents. They love you and most of the time the advice they give you is pretty legit.

17. "One of the GREATEST adventures you can take is to your own imagination." Read books. Watch the history channel. Go to a museum. Be a part of a play. An opportunity to learn and exercise your imagination is never time spent wasted.

18. Be proud of where you've come from and embrace it.

There you go Baby Benesh. 18 lessons that I hope you learn (but it's okay if you don't learn them all in 18 years. :) I promise it's not a bad thing).

If my siblings keep this up I'm gonna be screwed if/ when I start having kids. But that just means they'll owe me big time. :)

Maybe It Doesn't Have to End

Well, hello all,
Surprised to hear from me? I'm sure you are. :) So tonight while watching Blue Bloods on T.V. (more like just using it for background noise) and checking my facebook one last time before bed I started to think about blogging and actually asked myself, why did I stop? To be blunt, I stopped because life was going awesomely (yes, I did say awesomely) and I didn't feel the need to blog anymore. Of course receiving crappy news like I did today will make you feel kinda crabby.
***Oh snap somebody just got shot! Sorry...I got distracted by the T.V. My mom doesn't like that I spend a lot of time watching crime T.V. but hey, I like drama and one of my concentrations in school was Criminal Justice. Although, real life is nothing like T.V...
Annnyyway. Sorry I got off topic.
So yeah while I'm feeling crappy and crabby it really made me want to blog again so I logged on to my account...
***Excuse me someone was stabbed not shot. Sure looked like a shot one to me...that's why I just watch the investigating...sorry, again.
So I logged on to my account and while I'm scrolling through my old posts my memories come back of what was going on while I wrote that blog. Truth is that there are many happy...and not so happy posts. I really shouldn't have stopped. I forgot how therapeutic blogging can be. And I feel like there's so much that I need to catch you guys up on. :)
But right now it's getting late and I should really get to bed. Busy day tomorrow, being a grown up and all. :)

Oh, and since I'm finished with college, I'm considering renaming my blog. Any suggestions?

Be on  the look out for future posts. :)

School's Out Forever....Almost!

Oh my goodness, I was looking through my posts when I noticed I haven't blogged anything since July. For those who actually read & enjoy my blog I apologize. :) I've been in classes for a month now & you guys have no idea what's been going on. No wonder my mom's all up in my business. :)
Unfortunately, I do have to be careful with what I say. Gotta practice confidentiality. :) All you need to know is that the work is hard, the friendships are a godsend, & your bed is your best friend. :)
I can't believe I'm finally in my last year of college! I'm super excited but extremely terrified at the same time. :) Excited to be done with homework :) but terrified to pay off my student loans :) and be a real adult. :) It's weird to think about. I still don't view myself as being one...but no matter what happens I know I can do everything through Him who empowers me. :)
I can't believe how fast time has flown by. Seems like only yesterday I was calling my RD to complain about the drunk people banging on my door at 2 in the morning. :) But I've learned a lot in these last 5 years & not just academically but mentally & emotionally, about God & about myself. Really I'd say the only regret I have is not having more time. I should have taken more of the opportunities that came my way but you live & learn. :)

So speaking of finishing college, that means, I don't think it would quite match up if my blog remained "Confessions of a College Student". Any name suggestions out there? :)

WWJD

Something that has stuck with me since coming to the youth gathering is that we are so lucky to have a Savior that died and rose for our forgiveness and that we may have eternal life with Him. However, even though we are forgiven that doesn't mean we go on sinning and taking advantage of God's forgiveness. We owe Him to at least try to be faithful. We are always going to sin but we do have free will, self-control, and common sense. So...we know not to steal, murder, or have sex before marriage. When we experience that temptation use that self-control and common sense. I know for some of you this is a challenge but I'm a 22 year old virgin and I plan to be one til the day I'm married. Do I still face temptation and experience lustful thoughts? Heck yes! But I don't go and throw myself at a guy and say, "Take me now!" To me...sex before marriage is infidelity. I'm cheating on my future husband! Now premarital sex has become the social norm (sadly), but cheating is still looked down upon. So...are you gonna cheat on your future spouse? Or are you gonna base your entire decision on your hormones?

Marriage and sex is a beautiful thing created by God, but only when done appropriately. God was the bridegroom of the church. He took care of His bride. He was understanding, caring, and the perfect example of love.

A Day In The Life

Lately I've been having a hard time figuring out what to write about (sometimes it's just that I'm too much of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing). I've always wanted to write about my college experience and my future career, but unfortunately, just like a doctor or a psychotherapist my Code of Ethics requires that I keep confidentiality and I want to obey that (even though I'm not an interpreter yet). This rule makes it so hard to open up to people sometimes because people often think that sign language is simple and only requires "hands signals" and you're just "talking with your hands". I know that it's never the person's fault for believing this because they don't know any better. Unfortunately, society has not been exposed to the Deaf culture like they should. This makes it difficult to actually explain my career choice too because for me it's simple while for other people they just don't get it.

• Some questions that I've been asked.

1. What's A.S.L.? (American Sign Language) You mean sign language isn't universal? -Seriously, think about it. Is English a universal language? And yes, there are even different sign languages used in the U.S. just like how people speak differently in English people sign differently too.
2. So what can you do with that degree? Is there really a need for that?-Umm, I can pretty much do whatever I want. Wherever there's a deaf person there should be an interpreter.
3. That was so amazing! My *such and such* knows sign language and they use it with their special needs class. Is that what you're gonna do?-Yeah, there's a difference between knowing a few baby signs and actually being fluent in it and being certified to interpret.
4. *hearing person looks at you*, can you ask so and so this?-Just talk to them like you're having a normal conversation. You are going to want to look THEM in the eye.
5. And I'm standing there interpreting....hearing client "Don't sign that."-Umm, sorry you said it I'm gonna sign it. Those be the rules! And after you sign whatever you don't what me to sign I will also sign DON'T SIGN THAT.
6. And the thing that bothers us the most...*you're up signing for a speaker* and the speaker thinks it's funny to say something like "Oh hey, you're doing such a good job. So how do you sign this or this" (usually a word like poop or a cuss word).-Yeeeaahh, this is just rude to the interpreter and don't use us to hold your props or anything either.
7. *after a person finds out you're an interpreter* I don't know if I would like to be deaf. I would miss music too much or what about this or this?-That's nice. Usually this is accompanied by pity towards the deaf person and the idea that they just can't do anything (like drive-they can drive!)
8. Or you have the hearing client who tries to speak louder to the deaf person.-Ummm, they can't hear! Duh!
9. I just love watching you and your hand signals *person waves their hands in your face*-Yeeaahhh, it's called sign language and I'm a sign language interpreter and don't wave your hands at me because that's just rude and annoying.
10. "Can't they just read my lips?" Or "Oh they're deaf, so they have to know sign."-Reading lips is a lot harder than it looks. Can you read lips? Or why don't you just try to read their hands. And just because a person is deaf does not mean they know sign language. They may have grown up orally and can read lips and talk quite well.

And there are many more where that came from. People also tend to think that learning sign language is easy. ABSOLUTELY NOT! Have you ever learned a second language? Have you ever looked at the Linguistics of English let alone the Linguistics of ASL (Although most people don't even know what linguistics is either (the study of language)?

Well, if I haven't made you die from boredom yet here are a few facts about Deaf culture that I think are important and why I sign,

1. "Impaired" means "broken", the deaf are not broken. They prefer to be called "deaf" just "deaf". Not "hearing-impaired" or "deaf and dumb" or "deaf and mute".Deafness is not a disability and deaf people are actually very independent. After all, they've been looked down on all their lives.
2.  Not all deaf people want to hear and when in an environment where both parties use the same language deaf people are just as smart or even smarter than hearing people (yes, even in English).
3. Eye contact and touch are very important to them. So don't freak out if they touch you.
4. Honestly, I did go into interpreting because I wanted to "help" people (the deaf don't like that word). However, I wanted to help people understand each other not help them overcome this big "obstacle" or "disability" I wanted people to be heard and have equal access to communication.
5. Contrary to popular belief an interpreter works for the deaf client and the hearing client.
6. I also went into interpreting because of all the different jobs I could have. I like the idea that I really am making a difference. I'm the one who helps save a person's life after a car crash. I bring justice to the abused victim. I console the daughter who's watching her mother die. I get to be a part of critical moments in a person's life. To me, that's important. To be a part of somebody's life, a part of their life worth remembering.

1 Corinthians 14:10-12
"Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world., yet none of them is without meaning. If then I do not grasp the meaning of what someone is saying, I am a foreigner to the speaker, and he is a foreigner to me. So it is with you. Since you are eater to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church."

*Insert creative title here* :)

Seeing as how it's been a while since I've blogged (and I'm sure you are all so devastated by it :) ) I thought now might be a good time to look back and reflect on the school year. I can't believe this year is almost over! Next year I'll be a senior and will be on practicum (fingers crossed ;) ). What am I gonna do after I graduate? I can't call my blog Confessions of a College Student. :)
This year has been pretty good compared to others. You're finally to that point where you really click with people (if you're socially slow like me :) ) and feel more like yourself. I finally figured out what all to do with the waste of credits I have and finally feel like I'm where I should be. Do I still worry everyday that I'm gonna flunk out of the interpreting program and have to try to find something else to do? Yes, but that's only because you have no idea how intense the program is. Bethel is like the Yale of interpreting. :) But I finally feel confident in my decision of being an interpreter.
So everything has worked out for me in that department, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, I don't feel satisfied. I'm still not comfortable in my own skin and I know there are characteristics that I need to work on, and I want to work on them, but you have that bad, sinful part of you that says, "you can do that later." Before you know your head is spinning and you have no idea what you're going to do. I was really hoping  that would get better this year. Instead of people looking at me and either pitying me or thinking I'm mean (which really just means they're annoyed by you :) ) I want to be one of those people that just makes someone's day and be someone they'll remember for their kindness/good personality ;).
I know some of you (actually probably most of you) are thinking, "well, umm...you can do that. Just do it. You wanna change then go for it. Nobody else can do it for you. That's what tomorrows are for." All of these statements are true and are good advice, but for some people (and I'm not trying to make excuses :) ) it's more complicated then that. They can't just instantly drop who they are/have been and be who they want to be. It takes time, patience, faith, and searching. One of the hardest lessons you'll ever have to learn in life is how to accept who you are but at the same time improve who you are, and I have quickly learned that it's a lot easier said then done. I've also learned that it's important to remember that bad things happen and people are bad/stupid/whatever because there is sin in the world and I can't change that. On this earth there's no such thing as perfect.
Even though I've taken notice of these issues and maybe (hopefully :) ) sound like I know what I'm talking about, sometimes all I want to do is get my degree, get a job, move away from family and friends and start my life over again. When you're in college and are still financially dependent on your parents it's hard to lead your own life while still satisfying theirs. Sometimes I feel like I'm never really gonna know who I am until I graduate and move out.
So that's what I wish I could have done over again. But it's all in God's time.

I don't want this blog to seem too serious, the smiley faces are really me smiling/laughing because I'm trying to virtually lighten the mood. :)

Just A Thought

"Sometimes it's better to be alone. Nobody can hurt you."-Meg (Hercules)

An interesting theory/philosophy and I'd say one that I agree with, but, honestly, I avoid people because I don't want to hurt them. If you avoid people you don't have to worry about accidentally offending somebody or yelling at them because of something stupid they did and then in the end feeling hurt and stupid yourself. So when you are alone, really, nobody can hurt you.
 When nobody knows who you are it's impossible to hurt them. Though, sometimes you ultimately end up hurting yourself. You put those hateful thoughts into your own head and you bring yourself down. All those mistakes you've made and the person you are, nobody knows what that's like. So why bother trying to explain it to them? Besides, after you've revealed those secrets to them they might end up leaving you anyway. Unfortunately, in our society today people are quicker to be angry than to forgive (I'm definitely guilty of this too) when it should really be the other way around. But, being slow to anger and quick to forgive is something we must do for ourselves, not just for others....
It's hard to know sometimes who you can trust and who to put your faith in. It's hard to know if you should be honest with a person when they ask, "How are you doing?" Do they really care or are they just trying to be polite? That's why God created the "fine" emotion. When you say, "I'm fine," usually what it really means is, "My life sucks right now! But I know there are other people who have it worse than me so I don't want to complain or have you pity me. Things could always be worse."

What does this mean?

hy·poc·ri·sy  (h-pkr-s)

n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.

2. An act or instance of such falseness.

two-faced (tfst)

adj.

1. Having two faces or surfaces.

2. Hypocritical or double-dealing; deceitful

Oy Vey, I've heard these 2 words so many times this week and lemme tell ya, I'm sick of it. Do you people even know what those words mean? Apparently not.

Let's look at hypocrisy and the first definition for a moment, "The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess." Well, I'm no expert but if you ask me it kinda sounds like all human beings, all Christians are guilty of this. Am I right or am I right?

That is what we call sin ladies and gents. Yup, no matter how pure I wanna be and even if I save myself for marriage I've still committed adultery over a dozen times (hello, have you seen Johnny Depp hotchacha!). And even if I have never intentionally set out to kill somebody, I've already committed murder too. Yeah, all those people that I find annoying, sorry I just murdered you.

I don't condone this behavior but yet I still commit it. I even know it's wrong when I do it. Does that make me a hypocrite? According to this definition it does.

Now let's look at two-faced. It pretty much means the same thing as hypocrisy but if you look at the first definition, that meaning could easily go many ways. When  I read it I see someone who acts one way with someone and then goes and acts completely different with another person. Again, all Christians are guilty of this. And not just because of sin but....because the brain and emotions and people are just complicated. Each person you meet is gonna bring something out in you that another does not. And each person has their own story. Their own struggles. Their own hurts. This makes it impossible for us to stay as we are 24/7 for 365 days.

Hypocrisy was something that I struggled with a lot when I was younger. Meaning that I would judge people unfairly and call them hypocrites. I've recently learned that I don't have any right to judge somebody and to give them that label because I'm guilty of it too, and it's not my job to judge.

So, please, next time somebody pisses you off and you really wanna accuse someone of being a hypocrite or two-faced, take a long hard look at yourself and remember...you're one too and calling them that isn't going to change anything.

F.Y.I.

Alright...family...friends...complete strangers...let's get a few things straightened out....
Do you know what I heard all summer?
"You need to get a job."
"Apply for this. Apply for that. Be aggressive."
"Have you found a job yet?" "Did you try this place?"
and complain, complain, complain.

And do you want to know what I've been hearing since I got back (well, before I got back even) to school?
"You need to get a job."
"Here are a couple of places for you to try."
*wink, wink *point, point (MOM)
"Wow, there are a lot of restaurant opportunities here. Try this place"

You know, during my last therapy session for the summer my therapist asked me what my goal was for this year. I said finding a job because people were already giving me crap about it and I was tired of being poor. Of course, he saw right through that and asked if that was really my goal and not someone else's. And you know what? Getting a job is NOT my goal for this school year because honestly folks, believe it or not I don't find money and getting a job the most important thing in the world right now, especially since I'm still in school and classes are just gonna get harder and more time consuming. You would think people would be more considerate towards that kinda thing...but they're not. Sure, it'd be nice to have a job so I can afford basic necessities like prescription refills, gas money, and the chiropractor now and then because until you have experienced what I have you have no right to tell me how to live my life and you have no idea what my needs entitle.
And I know that those of you who have been trying to help me (nagging) are doing just that because you care about me, but until this past summer I have always been able to find a job on my own and you giving me jobs left and right and "helping" me just makes me not want to get a job just to spite you. Awful I know but that's what I do.
And you know what I find rather funny? Those couple of years where I actually had good jobs my parents still paid for a lot of my stuff and now...with no job, they're telling me to pay for everything and to get a job. Now I know I'm an "adult" now and I'm supposed to take care of myself blah blah blah, but a couple years ago I was more financially stable and probably could care of myself to a degree and could afford to pay for stuff and I'm not now. Seems a little backwards to me.
But what do I know. I haven't lived as long as some of you have.

So, to sum things up...I don't know what my goal is for this year but it is NOT getting a job. Do not try and "help" me find a job because it just irritates me. If I want help like "hey friend, you should talk me up to your manager at this place" then I will ask for it. I have needs and you have no idea what they are. I want money but if I can't find a job again this year I'm gonna try not to worry about it and if you don't nag on me and just support me I'll be a lot less likely to worry and that will make my life easier. There are more important things to worry about like getting my homework done and...sleeping. 

I also like to complain a lot. :) So please don't take all this too personally.

Addiction

Even after many seasons (are they on 12 now? I have no idea), this dance is still my favorite. Mia Michaels is an excellent choreographer! When she talks about the background of this dance and how she's portraying addiction, I think she's dead-on. We've all experienced wanting something that's not good for us...maybe not to this extent, but whether it be drinking or drugs or food (I'm not gonna tell ya mine :P ) we've all been there. That feeling where we want this thing SO bad because it makes us feel better but ultimately that thing starts to control us and it doesn't feel so good anymore and we want to let go of this addiction, but we can't because we're so drawn to it It's not that we don't want to stop, it's just that we can't. We don't know anything else but that addiction and we're afraid to not have that crutch to get us through life.....

Whelp, that's my schpeal for today.

Oh...And the song Gravity goes so well for this dance. :)

Oh the Joys of an Unemployed College Student

Whelp, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Sorry to all my loyal followers out there who really give a damn about what I have to say, but my life over the summer hasn't really been that interesting.
-As I predicted I've got no job this summer. My mom does pay me to clean the house once a week but that money goes by too fast.
-Finished a couple of books this summer, but I can't tell you what they were because I completely forgot. lol.
-At the end of June my mom and I went to go visit my grandma in MICH. That is never a pleasant trip. My grandma has cognitive problems so that's annoying enough, but when you add in her critical, no filture, pity me, complaining personality she becomes unbearable. So that wasn't any fun, besides spending a day up at school visiting Rachel for the day. :)
-Throughout the summer I've been addicted to the T.V. shows Drop Dead Diva, Law & Order S.V.U., and Veronica Mars. (That's what I spend the majority of my days doing, watching T.V.)
-And my family just got back from an Eastern Carribean cruise that our grandma paid for all of us to go to. It was a fun experience since I've never been on one again and it was nice to have something to do and to spend time with my family, but I hate traveling and I am definitely too claustrophobic for cruises. Hopefully the next vacation I go on I will have choosen and paid for.

There's been other things going on this summer  but it's none of y'alls business. :P So as I said my summer's been pretty boring, but in just under a month I'll be going back to school and be one step closer towards graduating. Yay! It's gonna be so scary and stressful but I'm really looking forward to classes and seeing my friends again. :)

"Give Me Some Hope To Follow And I Will Run"

Well this semester has flown by...and it has been CRAZY!!! I'm so glad that by tomorrow night it'll be over, but you know what's sad? I have absolutely no desire to go home...which is crazy because usually I can't wait to go home. AWWW!!!! What's wrong with me!!! JK!
Thing is, I feel like I have nothing to look forward to when I get home (besides the cruise that I'll be going on in July, but that's not til July! What am I gonna do til then?)
See, last summer I had a babysitting job lined up so I knew I'd be good with money, I had an internship lined up for most of the summer so I'd have some school work to do and I'd actually be doing something with my time (unlike when I babysit...maha!), and I knew that I'd be getting my wisdom teeth out (not so much fun, but at least for that I didn't feel bad being lazy). This summer...NOTHING.
 My days will probably consist of me sleeping then job searching and applying for jobs. Which it will probably be next to impossible to find a job since nobody wants to hire a college student just for the summer, but you know what, if you ask me that's a pretty good way to do it, hire a college student when they're home. That way if they suck at the job you only have to deal with them for like 4 months at the most and if you like them, they'll be back for breaks and again in the summer time and then you can hire them permanently when they finish school...sounds like a perfect plan to me....Anywho...
I'm tellin' ya, I don't know how women "WAAAAYYYY back in the day" used to do it. How could they just sit at home and do nothing? Sure some had to actually take care of the house and their children but what about all those lazy rich people who had maids to do their chores and a nurse/nanny/governess to watch their kids? That's what my life is gonna be like this summer because I have no husband/beau/boyfriend/whatever you call it or children and I have no job so I'll be sitting at home doing nothing just like them...talk about pathetic. Gets me thinking about the verse from my last blog from Ecclesiastes about how everything is meaningless...what purpose does sitting at home reading all day or whatever else those women used to do, have? What purpose does my summer have?

Serious
 Funny, gotta have both in life.


"Give me some hope to follow and I will run."-Jarrod Gorbel, featured on one of the new TWLOHA T-shirts.

Everything is Meaningless

You know, I love that the Bible says this...Everything is Meaningless...of course, it's talking about a life without God is meaningless, I still like that it says that. :)
Who would have thought that the book of Ecclesiastes could be so entertaining. So the purpose of this whole book is to show that, yes, wisdom is important, but human wisdom has it's limits. God alone knows the purpose of life. Throughout the book the author sees people laboring and trying to get to the top. Pursuing mearningless hopes and dreams. However, our role in this world is to accept things according to God's purpose and to pretty much be patient and enjoy life as God gives it to us. Sounds like an easy job to me...not! Why? Because these days people are obsessed with time, money, success, and blahbady blah blah crap that in the end isn't gonna matter...
Only God can satisfy.

"Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return."-Ecclesiastes 3:19-20

Two more points: That verse kinda makes it sound like animals are gonna be in Heaven. Why does the Bible have to be so large. Everything is meaningless but we're supposed to work at it with all our heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. But if work is meaningless why do we need to work. The Bible is so confused. That's why people don't read it...just saying...

Hmmm...

You know how Catholics are known for being alcoholics? I think I know why now. In the Catholic (and some Lutheran churches) church after they finish with communion it is customary for the priest (pastor) to drink whatever wine is left over. (Sometimes that can be quite a bit of wine). I can understand that if you drink a lot of that and you do that at least once a week you could get quite a bit of wine in your system. However, they do this because they have already blessed the wine and it is now Christ's blood (shed for you for the forgiveness of sin. This do as often as you drink it in remembrance of me). Sorry couldn't help myself. But what I don't understand is, you know, they don't want to be wasteful and Christ's blood is important, but if you're gonna drink the wine (blood) wouldn't you want to eat the bread (body) too, it's just as important. Can't have the blood without the body.

"So I say to you...

So, a long time ago, or maybe not that long ago, a wise pastor once did a sermon on the answers God gives you. He claimed that God has 3 answers to prayer. Those include:

• Yes
• Wait
• Not your way, My way

You'll notice that "no" does not make that list. Today in chapel the speaker talked about how many times when we are faced with difficult situations and when we ask for God's help He may answer no. This causes us, even those of us who are Christians, to lose that peace that we have knowing Jesus as Lord.

I don't know why bad things happen and I certainly do not claim to know everything (ha, I'm only in college. That's why I'm in college so I can learn everything. :) ) But one thing I do know is that God never says "no" to our prayers. He may not give us the answers we desire, but that doesn't mean he has not answered them.

I prayed that I would get in to Bethel College and have the time of my life. God answered me with "Yes, but it's not gonna be easy. You're gonna have to work hard."

I desperately needed a job a few summers ago. His answer, "Wait". Because I waited for His timing and not my own I got to babysit 3 amazing kids who touched my heart.

A lady at our church was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer (an awful cancer that I'll hopefully post about later because September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month). Not only were her husband, children, and grandchildren praying for her, the whole church prayed that she would get well again. Sadly, she died a few months ago. To some it may seem that God did not answer our prayer or that He answered it with a "no", but He didn't. His reply was "Not your way, My way." You see, she may not be here on this earth with us, but our prayer for her to be healed was answered. God gave her something much better than simply healing her physically. She got to go home! She got to go and be with her Maker! She's in Heaven with the Father pain free and cancer free! So our prayer for her to be healed was answered, she even got more than what we had prayed for. It just was not in the way we had in mind.

I encourage everybody to think about this concept of God never saying "no" to us. Sometimes it may seem a little ridiculous and you may completely disagree with me and that's fine, but believing God's answer to be "not your way, My way" is way more optimistic than the answer of "no" and I'm not usually an optimistic person. But this is one thing that I can be optimistic about.

Comments appreciated! :) I'll try not to be too sensitive. :)

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."-Luke 11:9-10 -That doesn't sound like a "no" to me. :) 

I think I've posted this quote before, but that's okay because it's a good quote.

e.e. cummings once wrote, "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
When you're a child we're molded and disciplined by our parents and other authority. We're inspired to be like our big brothers and sisters. We try to be just like our favorite movie star or super hero.
When you're a teenager it's not only your parents you rebel against, but we fall into peer pressure. We try to be just like our friends or do things to be noticed/liked by others. To add on to that we try to copy what the media shows us as being ideal.
Then when you reach adulthood, you would think you wouldn't be so easily influenced  by the media and peer pressure, but we are. Even as we age we're then influenced by our children, spouses, doctors, and caretakers.
So I agree with cummings. It's hard to define who the self actually is when we are influenced by so many outside sources. Yes, these things mold us into who we are but it's from my experience that figuring out who we are is a never ending journey.

Collin McCarty

I think this dude is some kind of writer but I found this poem that I really love and really wanted to share it.

"Your presence is a present to the world. You're unique and one of a kind. Your life can be what you want it to be. Take the days just one at a time. Count your blessings, not your troubles. You'll make it through whatever comes along. Within you are so many answers. Understand, have courage, be strong. Don't put limits on yourself. So many dream are waiting to be realized. Decisions are too important to leave to chance. Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets. Don't take things too seriously. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets. Remember that a little love goes a long way. Remember that a lot...goes forever. Remember that friendship is a wise investment. Life's treasures are people...together. Realize that it's never too late. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. Have health and hope and happiness. Take the time to wish upon a star. And don't ever forget...for even a day...how very special you are."

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

Liz of...the parsonage?

The past few days I've been on an Anne of Green Gables kick. Which if you've seen the movies or read the books, can you really blame me? They're wonderful! Every time I watch the movies it makes me wish that I was Anne. That I had red hair. That I lived during the early 20th century. That I was as creative and imaginative as she. That I was as witty and carefree as she. That I had Gilbert Blythe as my beau. :) Even that I was an orphan and nobody wanted me. Crazy isn't it? Anne is such as inspirational character. The more carefully I listened to her dialogue the more I realized that we all have a little Anne within us. I may not have her red hair or live in the early 20th century, but I think the lessons she learns are lessons we have  or will realize.

"I went looking for my ideals outside myself and discovered, it's not what the world holds for you, it's what you bring to it. The dreams dearest to my heart are right here."-Anne Shirley

The other quote I was going to put on here that I can't seemed to find had to do with Anne and Gil in the last movie Anne of Green Gable: the continuing story. After Anne and Gil return home they decide to give Green Gables to Diana and Fred. Anne finally realized that a home, it's not the place or the building itself, it's the people in it. That was a good lesson to learn. Especially when you're away at school and starting to get a little homesick. :)

I think Anne Shirley is definitely someone I aspire to be. I hope to be more like her not just in the ways of her imagination and creativity but also by her generosity and enthusiasm. Her love of life and love for others. And I am like her when it comes to my sarcasm and arguing with people, but Anne knows how to mend things and takes care of them a little better than I do.


I know this is not a very good picture but I don't really care. I was trying to get one where there wasn't any kissing. Besides finding myself a Gil is not the point. The point is the what the quote says. :)

I've Got a Feelin'

It's really strange, this feeling I have. (I feel like this line has been in a song or movie or something.) Anyway...
So this feeling. I don't know what it is. I don't think it's anxiety. I'm a little anxious and stressed about everything that has to get done the rest of this semester, but strangely I'm not worried. I don't think it's laziness. For the first time I actually feel like doing my work and getting it done, but I haven't really started doing it yet.
Strange...
Maybe it's boredom. I keep watching these drama movies like Life As We Know It, Burlesque, and A Mighty Heart. You know I've discovered that the reason people are so drawn to movies like these and T.V. shows like Glee and One Tree Hill is because people crave the drama. They want excitement in their lives that they can't find elsewhere. They think singing and dancing their way through life and getting attacked by a psycho nanny will make their lives better. I admit I'm one of those people.
You would think that as a college student I wouldn't feel the need to seek drama. I mean that's the reason I started this blog to document my college career and to add excitement to my life. I can't say that it has worked so far.
Though, you know, when you stop to think about it...
Life is one crazy filled drama. No days are the same. We have similar days, but days that are never the same.
So I'm obviously not bored...
So what is this feeling....?

Dear Grace

Dear Grace,
Today you were brought into God's family through holy baptism. Lucky Grandpa had the honor of baptising you. I think he feels a lot better now that you're finally baptized. You were definitely a big hit tonight. Everyone wanted to hold you. Everybody was kissing you and commenting on how cute you were. I have a confession to make...I was a little jealous. Not that you were getting all the attention, but because there are so many people on this earth that love you. I wanted to have you all to myself and be the one to show you the most love. Then I realized that by doing so I'm not really loving you at all. First of all, I'm not your mother so there's NO WAY I could love you more than they do, but I also remembered a point that was made in chapel Wednesday, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world and all who live in it."-Psalm 24:1
You see Grace, you do not just belong to your parents but to God. Most importantly to God. No matter how much your parents or I or all these other wonderful people in your life try to love you and do what's best for you, ultimately God is the one in charge. You are His. He is the one to love you, to heal you when your sick, and to "fix" you whenever you become a rebellious teenager. :)
But I definitely think that one way God shows us His love is through others. We love because He first loved us. I want you to always remember that Grace. Even during your saddest darkest days remember how much Jesus loves you.

And how much I love you.
Love Always,
Aunt Liz xo's

P.S. Pictures of the baptism are soon to follow.