Foxy Lady

Most of you know I'm a huge fan of traditions so a few years ago when my great aunt passed away I dedicated a blog to her, well, early this Easter Sunday morning my Grandma Fox (Booth) went to join her. So here goes nothing.
Some of my fondest memories from my childhood took place with my Grandma Fox. For most of my life she lived far away in Michigan while we were in Illinois. The only times we really got to see her was during the summer time, but what great summers they were! When you would get to Gramma's house the minute you stepped out of the car you were just overcome by this feeling of peace. Gramma lived on a farm so we were pretty much out in the middle of nowhere, but it was the perfect place to star gaze and catch fireflies. I loved how green everything was and how Gramma took such good care of her flowers and her garden. For the longest time Gramma would make sure that I took some of her flowers home with me (I'm not exactly sure how alive they were when we got home :) ).
I loved my Gramma's cookies (it was so sad when she got to be too old to make them). I loved that for most of our trips, when we arrived Gramma had pot roast for us. I loved going and picking strawberries and blueberries with her. I loved her apple trees and pear tree. Though they weren't very good for eating, they were good for throwing at people and holding up your tree house. :) I loved Gramma's love of family. I loved that she shared my passion of reading and always had good books on the shelf and goofy stories to tell.
I think what I loved best about Gramma was that for the longest time when I thought I could be a writer, she encouraged it. She always wanted to know what was going on with (& sometimes it may have come off as nosy :) ) but I've finally realized that it's because she cared so much and wished that she had been able to share that experience with you.
Gramma, I know there were times when we didn't always get along and that I wasn't always the nicest granddaughter, but I love you and I'm so glad I got to see you and hold your hand one last time!

"All Endings Are Also Beginnings, We Just Don't Know It At The Time."-Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet In Heaven)

Well, today we said our final good-byes to Aunt Lidka. It's gonna be hard getting used to her not being here anymore. But as Grandma said we know she's painting up in Heaven with Uncle John and their daughter right beside her.

Most of you know how much I dearly love my nieces, which means you probably also know that Avery can get really crabby and has stranger anxiety (even if you're not a stranger :P) and Grace is just your typical mischievous 2 year old. However, today during the funeral Avery didn't make a sound. Like I said, if you know Avery, you know that almost never happens. Mom and I considered that to be our little miracle from Aunt Lidka because not only did she want people to be respectful and not disturb others but she knew we needed a break too. :)
And Grace...oh my. Everybody who's met Grace knows that she is very smart for a 2 year old and just plain adorable. I don't know what Mom and Aunt Tina were telling Grace about what was happening before, but as we were leaving to go to the cemetery after the service, I was holding Grace and she kept asking me where Aunt Lidka was going (or as she would say, "Aunt Yidka" :P ) Grace has only met Aunt Lidka a few times and poor Avery I don't know if she was even able to meet Aunt Lidka. Now I have no idea how to explain something like this to a 2 year old. I asked Mom about it when her dad died and what she told Tim. Tim just knew that Mom was sad and that she cried a lot. So...I ended up just telling Grace that Aunt Lidka was going to Heaven. Now, like every 2 year old she kept asking me this over and over again. Finally when we were back at the funeral home and she asked me I again told her that Aunt Lidka was going to Heaven. After I said that Grace looked at me and said that Aunt Lidka was going to Heaven to be with Jesus...she amazes me everyday and just like I'm thankful Aunt Lidka was in my life I am so glad that Grace and Avery are in my life too.

Speaking of which, for those of you who don't know (which most of you who will probably read this already do) I am going to be an aunt X 3. Now I'll admit that by the third one...it's not as exciting, especially for the one that's gonna have to babysit (I know that's mean and brutally honest, but at least I'm being honest. :) ), but when I came upon this quote that I used to open my blog with I started to think about the nature of life. Yes, people are always dying, but people are always being born too. Yes, Aunt Lidka is no longer with us, but soon we'll be welcoming this new little baby into the world. There are also many other good things about funerals and tragedies but I'm not going to go into that because this blog is already gonna be longer than I expected. Anywho, so if you can remember the blogs I wrote for Grace and Avery than you remember that I gave them a list of life lessons I want them to learn by the time they grow up and they're my age. So staying with tradition here are some life lessons for the new little one:

1. Always my #1 lesson,You are oh so VERY LOVED and don't ever forget that for even a moment.
2. You are a Unique Child of God and He loves you very much!   "Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of us."-Rabindranath Tagore
3. "Inhale grace. Exhale gratitude."-Dr. Scott Johnson (Receive thankfully and give graciously).
4. "We cannot change our past, but we can learn to see our past from God's perspective."-Charles R. Swindoll. always forgive...yourself and others.
5. "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."- e.e. cummings. Don't ever change because of somebody else's standards. Change for yourself. You will encounter temptations and life is going to be hard, I can promise you that, but it's worth it. :)
6. "Stop judging people because they sin differently than you." One of the greatest things about the human race is that we are all alike in our sin. We all sin and no sin is greater than another. No matter how a person is treating you, be kind. "Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see, the pain someone feels."
7.  "Wherever you go, go with all your heart."-Confucius. Don't be afraid to leave home if that means following your heart. Home will always be there for you when you need it.
8. "Raise your words, not your voice. It's rain that grows flowers, not thunder."-rumi. Yes, your parents will upset you. Yes, your sisters will hurt you but all that does is give you a chance to open up your heart. It's a chance to share your story, which is God's story. Don't ever be afraid to share that.
9. Don't push people away. "In the shelter of each other we will live....God has given us each other." We all like to be alone sometimes, but don't keep people away forever. It's true that if you are alone nobody else can hurt you, but you will end up hurting yourself.
10. "Jesus, help me to see that I am someone worth dying for" You are a Unique Child of God and He Loves you very much. Your life matters. It's what has kept me here. We all have experienced doubts. Doubts about whether the people we care about really love us. Whether God really loves us. Whether things will actually get better. Doubts are the devil's way of pulling you away from God. So during those doubts draw closer to God.
11. Take pride in your accomplishments and celebrate every achievement. And it doesn't matter if no one else is there to help you celebrate...celebrate anyway!
12. "Know who you are. Accept who you are. Be who you are."-Dietrich Bonhoeffer You have got to do this yourself before you can expect anybody else to do it. Aunt Izzy knows a lot about this one. Unfortunately, most of the time she's all talk. :)
13. "Being rich in money and things doesn't last. Being rich in the Lord and people last forever."-Grampy Troup
14. God never answers "No"
15. The greatest gift you can give a person is your time.
16. Listen to and obey your parents. They love you and most of the time the advice they give you is pretty legit.
17. One of the greatest adventures you can take is to your own imagination.
18. Be proud of where you've come from and embrace it.

You are gonna be one lucky kid! You're gonna make all the other babies jealous because of all the cool people you are gonna have in your life. :)

Dear Grace

Dear Grace,
Today you were brought into God's family through holy baptism. Lucky Grandpa had the honor of baptising you. I think he feels a lot better now that you're finally baptized. You were definitely a big hit tonight. Everyone wanted to hold you. Everybody was kissing you and commenting on how cute you were. I have a confession to make...I was a little jealous. Not that you were getting all the attention, but because there are so many people on this earth that love you. I wanted to have you all to myself and be the one to show you the most love. Then I realized that by doing so I'm not really loving you at all. First of all, I'm not your mother so there's NO WAY I could love you more than they do, but I also remembered a point that was made in chapel Wednesday, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world and all who live in it."-Psalm 24:1
You see Grace, you do not just belong to your parents but to God. Most importantly to God. No matter how much your parents or I or all these other wonderful people in your life try to love you and do what's best for you, ultimately God is the one in charge. You are His. He is the one to love you, to heal you when your sick, and to "fix" you whenever you become a rebellious teenager. :)
But I definitely think that one way God shows us His love is through others. We love because He first loved us. I want you to always remember that Grace. Even during your saddest darkest days remember how much Jesus loves you.

And how much I love you.
Love Always,
Aunt Liz xo's

P.S. Pictures of the baptism are soon to follow.

Dear Eugene,

Dear Eugene,

I saw my dad cry for the first time today. Today my dad was informed that his father had died. You...you're gone, but you were never here. You abandoned your wife and children. As far as we know you never repented of that. You abandoned God. My father says he has forgiven you. I have forgiven you. I'm confident my grandmother has forgiven you too. Out of my nineteen years of life I've never heard my grandmother say one negative thing towards you and all the pictures I've seen are of happy times. So I know there were times where you were happy. I believe at one time you were a good husband and a good father. I wish I knew what had happened to make that change in you. I would have very much loved to have met you one day. I wrote you once a long time ago when I was a little girl. You never replied. My father had written you. My aunt had written you. I desperately hope that my father is right and that maybe you never received the letters. Dad says you were a huge coward, but since I'm human and struggle with this myself I understand how hard it would have been for you to apologize for what you did. Despite your past and what you did I want you to know that I have forgiven you and God has forgiven you and neither of us have stopped loving you. You dying without coming to faith is Dad's greatest fear. He's afraid that when his time comes he won't have the joy of seeing you again in Heaven. Even though I don't really know you. I don't know where you were when it came to faith and despite my family's belief that you repenting was very unlikely I do believe that God works miracles and the Holy Spirit wonderous. So I like to believe that when my grandmother's time comes. When my father's time comes. And when my time comes I will see you at Heaven's gates.

Love,
Your Granddaughter,
Elizabeth