Today I've learned that no matter how old a person is, no matter how successful they are, no matter how much you prepare, it's still hard to say good-bye. Before I could say with such gratefulness, that I've never been through the heartache of losing someone special. Yes, I have experienced the hurt of watching loved ones hurt. Yes, I've experienced the numbness & confusion of such a loss where it's hard to figure out how it is you should feel. Yes, I've experienced the awful awkwardness of watching another grieve and not really knowing how you feel. However, I've never been the one that hurts. It hurts to think about them not sharing this life with you anymore. It hurts to see others hurt. And it hurts knowing that you're being selfish for wanting them to stay here. It hurts that their life was not able to be saved.
Aunt Lidka was definitely a special lady. I loved her accent & that when I was around her I had a piece of my heritage with me. I loved her sweetness. She was always so grateful for what other people would do for her (perhaps the most grateful person I have ever met). I loved her passion for art & how her paintings were like her children. I loved how trusting she was of others, talking to all the nurses & welcoming them into her life until the very end. I loved her cookies that she made every year to bring for Christmas (I'm determined to learn to make those cookies & hopefully have them taste as good as hers). :) I loved her hugs & how gentle she was. I loved that she only had one love in her life & I am so glad that she will finally get to see him again. I loved how nice her skin was & how thick her hair was for someone who was 89. I loved the fact that she was a great-great aunt. I loved how she & Grandma were not sister-in-laws but sisters. I loved that she had a nickname for Dad. I loved that she would always ask Mom how Grandma Fox was doing and was always so concerned about her. I loved that she worried about me finding a job after college and that she worried about me being single. I loved that she only wanted people to be happy. I loved that she thought my sister-in-law's brother was so good looking and hinted to me more than once that I should date him. :) I loved that she was ready to go but that she was also a fighter. I love that she is now in Heaven with her Father & her husband Uncle John & their baby. I love that the last good memory I'll have with her is celebrating her 89th birthday with the family.
I love you Aunt Lidka & you'll be missed very much!